Arnie was walking briskly down the road looking at everything around him when a man stopped him and asked the following question,, “Sorry to bother you, but do you have the time ”. Arnold paused, and beamed at the man like a new believer. “The time sir: I have the time, the truth and road to your destiny. “Let the joy of living pour out of every orifice. Let people share in the glory of your being.” He paused briefly while he considered this statement. The stranger was looking slightly unsettled but was currently doing no more than shift his weight from one foot to the other.
“Possibly not any orifice below the waist” Arnold corrected himself, and maybe not the ears, and the nose is a bit dodgy….. Let the joy of life pour out of your mouth and eyes”. At last he’d got it right, but now the figure of the man was receding from his view at a brisk pace, apparently unmoved by this newly revealed road to joy.
Unbowed, our cheery prophet returned home, to enjoy a welcome coffee at ten o’clock on this Thursday morning. His wife looked surprised to see him, but before she could say anything he told her, “Let the joy of life pour out of your heart: let it shine and speak from your eyes and mouth”. Moving, and even inspiring as this statement was, his wife decided to put it on one side for the moment,and she asked him what he was doing at home at this hour of the day.
“I got sacked” he said, beaming with riotous exuberance as the full power of his message coursed and galloped through his being. “Why?” she asked quickly, worried that he was about to launch into a fresh rhapsody before leaving Planet Facts. “We were having a ‘Blue Sky’ meeting about the budgets for the next year and Dave asked my opinion”, “And you told him Let the Joy of life etc”. Her husband beamed at her, and even softened slightly because she always understood what he was saying so well. “Yes, I told him, “Let the Joy of Life shine out of…” “Yes yes yes” said his wife, now fully ‘up to speed’ on the recent events. “And what do you think we should do now?”
“Face life with unflinching courage,” her husband continued, ”Remain unbowed before setbacks, and march forward to the promised land. More specifically” he added seeing that his wife’s attention was wandering, “I think we should withdraw our saving and go place it on the lottery. Say to the fates, bold, unbowed and clear. Here is our statement of intent, do your worst, extend the odds against winning if you must; frighten us if you can, but we will climb the mountain: we will venture through unmapped terrain toward our Shangri La.”
“Can I see your bank card for a minute”, his wife interrupted, and without thinking as his mind was busy assembling the next statement, he placed it in the relieved and outstretched palm of her hand. “You sit down for a second while I make you a coffee” she said and left the room.
What she did was ring his work place and ask to speak to Arnold’s boss. “Did you really sack him” she enquired, given that he’s your brother in law”. “No, I didn’t” her brother replied, but I was hoping the shock ,might bring him down to earth”. “We’ll what got into him, do you know”. “Yes” , her brother replied. “Some new guy started this morning, and when Arnie said he had a headache, this guy gave him an aspirin which may not have been an aspirin. He has’nt been really been sacked. The bank manager is coming along later, and I didn’t want our accountant telling him about the joy of life and that we want to withdraw all our money and put it on the lottery”. He continued, “What we need is profits, and not prophets and then he started laughing and wheezing into the phone, until he seemed to be gibbering with hysteria :shrieking and sucking noises could be heard bouncing around the earpiece “Are you alright” his sister asked him. “I had a slight headache this morning” he said. “I’m coming over” she replied and put the phone down.
This is hysterical, yet there is a profound message in there. Loved it!
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Haha! Where DO you get your ideas – or is this the world you actually live in? Lovely story 😀
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A lovely bit for a Monday morning, my dear ducks.
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Sounds like an xtasy pill. Probably was(a smiley). Nice story – funny, flowing.
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Wish they distributed those pills in my bank!
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Wonderfully funny take on things Ducky….Oh to have five minutes inside your head! x
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Out of the park! I bow down.
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Clapping.
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Great story! Love the line “we need profits, not prophets”! Nice work.
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Delightful story! They should patent what’s in those little pills 🙂
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I agree with all the amused folks above–absolutely delightful!
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Ha ha ha ha! Made me laugh on a glum day. Thank you… ha ha ha!
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What a hoot! Where do you come up with these gems??
b
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This is wonderful! Such a different take on life! I love it!
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Hmm, I wonder how long the new guy will last once everyone is over their headaches!
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High on life, eh?
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“What we need is profits not prophets” – mate, you are funny!
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Headaches – oh my goodness. Very funny story.
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This is wonderful and hilarious. What a gift you have!
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Once again this has brought a smile to my face – I can just imagine the scene in the office when Arnie came forth with his wise words!
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🙂
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Absolutely freeeeeeeeeeeeeaking Brilliant.
I LOVE, Peter. XxxOOO
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L-O-V-E!!!!!
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Oh wow. So this is what you write! Very cool stuff. I like the surprise ending. Interesting to think about–I guess this guys’ day was not so mundane after all.
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Wonderful. I didn’t realize just how much I needed a good laugh. 😀 Good stuff!
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Well-written and slightly irreverent. You are smoldering and seem vaguely familiar, a distant cousin or someone I already read.
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This made me chuckle! Funny story!
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Great post xxx
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🙂 I feel a headache coming up…
Love this story!
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I loved this so much, but was disappointed by the ending. I want a different one! Where the wife isn’t such a realist and they can go live life and joy through every orifice together… 😉
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I know what you mean, I all it “Death by Common Sense”.
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excellent……….. I loved it……… still smiling.
Terry
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I am hysterical laughing!
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What a great piece! You’re so funny. So well written. I loved it 🙂
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I’ll have to speak to my neurologist about getting some of those pills for my headaches! wonderful twist to this story, Peter. 🙂
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Thank you. I always appreciate your comments. I feel a bit worried about what will happen when the bank manager turns up. Perhaps he has a headache as well !
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I’m sure you’re clever writer’s imagination will know exactly what to do when he knocks on the door! 🙂
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you are such a great writer dear…a humor in your style yet motivating and inspirational
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I guess that’s why I got ‘sacked’ the last time … they were “looking for profits not prophets”! Oh, thank you, I think this piece has given me closure. (Or is that what I’m predicting for the old employer?) Always entertaining with a thought-provoking twist, Peter!
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I missed this gem! Its fabulous! 😊
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Very Nice work! Very enjoyable!
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I love your style of writing. You are easy to read (I’m not sure whether that sounds right), and the end seems to come all too soon. I am enjoying your sight immensely!
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This is great. Could be true. xo
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I did wonder what it would be like if it was true, or if they slipped acid or some other Hallucinogens into the water supply in congress or the houses of parliament, depending on your location, ( just enough to let them slide towards the emotionally expressive ) it would make a beautiful and alternative film, and give a new spin to the idea of ‘Power’ as a drug. I love your imagination and sensibility, and I’m very pleased, if that is not too expansive , that you’ve found my blog
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