The “Raised Eyebrow Award”


As you may have noticed I recently spent a period on my own while my partner went off on a holiday to Dubai  visiting her daughter. In this period I undertook a scientific, rigorous and possibly exhausting research project on what you could eat on toast without making a mess and leaving the smallest degree of washing up in its wake. I lost a few pounds and survived the experiment with the sense of a job well done. Pause for a brief moment of glowing self satisfaction  not shared by those who see no triumph in this minimalist lifestyle.

Now, burdened with the reputation gained by this catering milestone I have been asked to prepare a meal for four as we have guests coming over this evening. One of the things I enjoy about my partner is that she has very high standards but this can present a challenge all of its own. I sense that wheeling out a couple of well presented tins of sardines may not earn the helping of praise we all feed on so frantically. Equally a quartet of egg sandwiches, served with a delicate side salad of tomato may also fail to impress.

This being the case I am now wondering  what to prepare. My partner, God bless her suggested I prepare some sort of roast dinner. A suggestion accompanied with her murmuring, ” roast potatoes, gravy yum  yum” ; her eyes glazing over with the thought of the upcoming feast. My counter of  “You can’t go wrong with eggs.  They go very well with toast you know” earned the “raised eyebrow award” which suggests that, however well served they are , you can go as wrong with eggs as it’s possible to go. In the circumstances I swallowed my well prepared speech on the nutritious benefits of sardines and started wracking my brains for a suitable and risk free menu.

After much thought I have settled on steaks with chips for us and a salad for the visiting lady who is currently on a diet. Funnily enough I am currently on a diet, as is my partner. A diet which has been approached with the discipline and planning I hope you would expect from yours truely,  only broken by the need to eat and a pleasure in some sort of lovely sweet. As you get older, I find, avoiding mirrors is one of the secrets of a contented lifestyle. Possibly the visiting lady has not discovered that yet. Perhaps I should give her that life tip over a soothing helping of sticky toffee pudding with ice cream. Perhaps not. I can feel another ” raised eyebrow award” coming on.

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About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in cooking, creative writing, Life, Relationships, skils, Talent and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to The “Raised Eyebrow Award”

  1. Caroline says:

    LOL. My Ex and I once went to dinner to some very good friends only to be presented with a do-it-yourself main course of sandwiches. Roast beef sandwiches it must be said – but still sandwiches. And they hadn’t even been made.

    Of course me, in one of my famous fail to engage brain moments actually said to the other guests – “Look out it could just be sandwiches for dinner!” Only to find I was right!

    It was a surreal evening which we and the other couple discussed at length once a safe distance from the house in question had been achieved!

    So be brave! It’ll be a talking point if nothing else!!

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  2. barbara says:

    I really like your advice about avoiding mirrors as we get older. Problem solved! Genius!
    Thanks for my morning chuckle Peter.
    b

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  3. backonmyown says:

    I’m giggling about the mirror advice. I haven’t looked long in the mirror for years–just long enough to check for toothpaste on my face.

    Good luck with your meal and please let us know what you decided to prepare.

    Like

  4. Deana says:

    I love this. I love the subtleties of the raised eyebrow and yet not all men pick up on it. My husband views the raised eyebrow award as a challenge, thus requiring me to step my game up to the lethal over the glasses stare followed quickly by a slow deep intake of breath thus hoping to suck the wind out of whatever sails he was trying to fly by. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

    Let us know how dinner goes. Your steaks with chips sounds yummy.

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  5. Your menu sounds perfect! Can I have some toffee pudding? It’s my favorite!

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  6. Lafemmeroar says:

    Mirrors that makes one look thinner would be welcomed. Good luck on the menu 🙂

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  7. Love steak and chips!

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  8. To hell with food and mirrors, I’m quite intrigued about this “visiting lady” 🙂

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  9. Hey I am totally hungry now thinking about ice cream lol. And skinny mirrors are to be banned lol. I like to at least know how big I’ve gotten so I can fix it lol

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  10. stuffed chicken wraped in bacon, roast spuds and two veg 🙂

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  11. A really easy dish to make is shepherds pie or spag bol!

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  12. I like your observation about mirrors. The image I have of myself in my head is SO much better than any mirror can produce! Hope your dinner went well. 🙂

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  13. nelle says:

    You could compromise and roast the sardines…

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  14. Larry Lilly says:

    PIZZA
    That way you both win. You get a form of toast, plus the sardines, she gets the beef, throw in some green items such as poblano peppers, or jalapenos (i am sure you can get jalapeno there if not poblanos) other veggie stuff, copious amounts of cheeses, more meat stuff; the perfect meal. Then if you are wanting to watch the mirror, you just have a slender slice, or if not watching reflections of a passing waistline, a larger slice, or several.

    Glad to have helped.

    Like

  15. midsummerdreamsandwintertales says:

    I’d happily eat eggs on toast. Particularly if someone else made it. Come to think of it, I don’t even need the bread toasted.

    Like

  16. eof737 says:

    What a hoot! You’re on a diet and having steak while your guest, who happens to be on a diet too, will get salad? Make a huge Salad for everyone and ditch the steaks. 😆
    Have a splendid weekend!

    Like

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