When I opened the door there was Jennifer, my lifetime’s love and all she said was “I made such a mistake back then,” and looking at her, all I saw was the love of my life, worshipped in eternity who I met at university and who passed me by as being too unworldly for her tastes.
In her eyes I saw the magic which always held me : the blend of arrogance and fear which draws men to their undoing. I have been married to a woman who has tolerated my failings, as I have hers, for many years, and together we are blessed. but she was never the object of my dreams
“Who is that” shouted out my loyal one, and I lied “Just some salesman” as I indicated to my lover with my hands that I would be with her in five minutes.
Sure enough, shortly afterwards I shouted out I was off for my coffee which I enjoy every Saturday: for the first time in thirty-five years, my heart was filled with turmoil and deceit.
There she was at the end of the road, arms outstretched and waiting for my embrace: seeking for that reservoir of understanding I offered her so freely in my student years. Yes I did return that embrace: I could not help myself, and immediately she sought my hand with hers as we walked off to the park but I am not unknown in this area and reticence saved me.
My wife is not my dream but she is my friend, my dearest friend: my most precious friend and in the eyes of this woman, who I sought to make my own in those days when the world was mine to conquer, I saw nothing but hunger and chaos. Stepping back I said, “I will always love you Jennifer but we made our choices and I was not yours” before turning on my heels and returning home.
As I opened the door my wife was standing at the foot of the stairs saying, “That was a quick one” but her eyes asked more questions than her words. Betrayal, I realised, need only last a moment to cast it’s shadow for eternity.