A Dream Too Far Beyond My Courage


You lived creatively letting art define your life, fearless in your every day, walking the path I would have walked if I had courage in my veins; but I was a percentage man, careful always not to fail. I talked of art but lived by common sense and progressed cautiously toward an unmarked death.

At first you welcomed me: drowning me in kisses and opening yourself up to me in pagan celebration sure that I, like you, was of the chosen few, who recognised the secret beauty of our lives will only be expressed through fearless creativity. How we loved to swap observations, and nestle with each other by the fire and talk of love. I touched your skin and felt each brush of it awake my soul. Your lips, for that short time, were mine to kiss and face to hold: wonder was our chemistry, and through each other we had found love for our eternity.

I lost my nerve at last, and talked of safe professions, a refuge from the fear that those who live to dream will pay a cost until, one day, that love I drank so freely from your eyes shrank to a trickle of regret.

You painted like a girl possessed while I trained for my bar exams and we drifted on complicitly, avoiding the unspoken truth, that you were fearless and I was not. An agent came to see your work, sent there by a man of note, and the rest we know is history. You have created these forty years and I have not, but I read of you in magazines, and sometimes when silence fills my life, I take the portrait you made of me, a young man with a dream to chase, staring out courageously, for that was how you saw me then.

Life becomes your memories and in that place I love you still. I never speak your name out loud, and make no reference to your work but every day I take my walk, past the garden where we sat  as, safe within my silent heart, you pass your fingers through my hair.

About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in character, creative writing, Fiction, Peter Wells, Romance and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to A Dream Too Far Beyond My Courage

  1. lenawalton says:

    Ironically, Peter you write about courage and yet you are a brave writer!

    Like

  2. Al says:

    Ah, bittersweet love. Is there really any other kind?

    Like

  3. Oh, Peter. You can so write a love song that lives forever as an image in the mind.

    Like

  4. ksbeth says:

    ah, it is bittersweet and full of regret and longing, though he seems resigned to what he felt was his destiny. another beautiful piece

    Like

  5. This is quite beautiful, Peter, with a melancholy tone with which I can relate. I was nearly moved to tears at the outcome for your lead. I think, in many ways, I can identify with the actions of your character with the pressure of having to live over shadowing the desire to live a ‘creative’ life.
    Thank you for sharing this story.

    Like

  6. liefladee says:

    “Life becomes your memories and in that place I love you still.”
    Why does every extraordinary moment have to last forever to be valid? The beauty was in the moment and it was real. ♥️

    Like

  7. This is wonderful, Peter. I grovel (sincerely).

    Like

  8. delphini510 says:

    This is so beautifully and openly written Peter. A delight to read and a sorrow and joy
    to share. It saddened me that the different creative roads had to drive you apart.
    There is passion in a good lawyer too.

    miriam

    Like

  9. Robin says:

    I think this piece will take all your readers to a place we’ve all been before…beautiful and filled with love.

    Like

  10. wdfyfe says:

    You write about love like a veteran of the heart. cheers

    Like

  11. Pingback: A Dream Too Far Beyond My Courage ~ Peter Wells | Sue Vincent's Daily Echo

  12. judithhb says:

    What to say but lovely once again, Peter.

    Like

  13. Snapshots of moments when our heart sings.

    Like

  14. sscottyy says:

    Wow, sweet and tender tears in my eyes…..
    Thank you Peter.

    Like

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