Somewhere In Transfusion Alley


Sometime in the distant future, about five or six years from now Vampires have taken over the world and humans running free and in their natural habitat are almost forgotten memories, although the wealthiest vampires can still afford to purchase a hunting trip to remote estates and gorge on fresh drained natural blood as their ancestors had in those heady days when the shriek of dying humans soothed the young vampire to sleep!

Down at the Sunless Arms, a local hostelry, some old chums, ( what other kind are there,) had gathered for a pint or two of their favourite fluid, talking of love and the sporting world while nodding in appreciation of their chosen tipple: blood group “O,” supplied from a chamber behind the bar where a thousand humans living in tiny pens, were fed intravenously while waste was removed and blood drained by suitably attached tubes, enabling red nectar to be drawn, but not so much as to endanger supply.

All was good and dandy and everyone happy apart from the humans, of course, and young Tommy Drain who was being introduced to the adult world as part of his initiation ceremony. What was not known was that the Drain family were part of that small but growing cult who believed that cruelty to other species diminished their own and so they had become vegans, manufacturing their life nourishing liquid from batches of illegally grown spinach with a squeeze or two of onion according to taste, and iron additives of course: red dye was added for cosmetic purposes!

“I’m a bit under the weather” said Tommy, producing a large flask of the “homebrew” from his bag while requesting a glass from behind the bar. Such behaviour was unsettling to the gathered old-timers, one or two of whom were over 200 years old and facing middle-age.

“We can’t have that” said one, but young Tommy, nimble of mind and foot, said his parents had only allowed him out on the basis he would promise to drink nothing but his medicine, a large measure of which he poured into his glass.

After the alcohol-enriched beverage had raised the spirits of the others to levels where singing was required, and with that inevitability Tommy feared, one of the group said, “Oh go on then Albert, put a splosh in my glass and extended said vessel towards our nervous hero.

There was no escape he knew, so he poured a portion into the glass and “Bandage” as he was known to his chums, raised the container to his lips and took a cautious sip, and then another before turning round to his friends and saying, “Not bad, not bad at all. Lovely truth be told,” before turning back to Tommy and saying “Tell your Mum and Dad I’ll be round later to get the recipe.”

As Tommy walked home, that growing terror impending disaster brings, filled the aperture wherein his soul once dwelled and he asked the world around him if principal could be sacrificed on the altar of survival. The darkness offered no reply!

About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in character, creative writing, Fiction, humour, Peter Wells, Uncategorized, Vampire and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Somewhere In Transfusion Alley

  1. They will have to be clever. Some vampires are intolerant of change

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  2. mikesteeden says:

    Well, Sir I shall have check my extensive stocks and share portfolio…methinks I shall dump all investments in fast food outlets as there won’t be any call for them. Hopefully Mucky May will privatize the NHS Blood Transfusion Services whereupon a new chain of Vampire pubs will be formed.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Somewhere In Transfusion Alley | Fantasy Gift Sources: Book Reviews, Article Resources, News

  4. ksbeth says:

    ah, a visit to the dark side. what an amazing and creative sense of humor you have )

    Liked by 1 person

  5. twofatnerds says:

    “one or two of whom were over 200 years old and facing middle-age.” I think this was my favourite line… just one question though.. your main character seems to have changed names a couple of times throughout (Tommy to Albert and back again).. was it deliberate?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. What a lovely tongue-in-cheek parody of life today, sucking the life from the multitudes without allowing them to die. Talk about gallows humor! Lol! But my favorite line is the end and the question it raises:

    “…if principle could be sacrificed on the altar of survival.”

    A question each of us is facing, that each must answer in his/her own way…

    Well done, Peter! And good luck to Tommy-Albert; I wish them well… ;D

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Al says:

    Now that’s a libation best left to the vegan vampires. As for me. a pint of stout is about as risky as I get when it comes to beverages shared with chums.

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  8. I love vampire stories. This is a totally original take on the classic. Well done!

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  9. I loved this – what a terrific story!

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  10. kat says:

    I don’t usually like vampire stories, but this was truly delightful! Poor Tommy!

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  11. A wonderful, tongue in cheek tale which rattled along like old bones. A sign of things to come? Oh well, can’t stand in the way of change!

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  12. And when I was a vegetarian everyone said MY food wasn’t at all like the real thing! If a VAMPIRE can’t tell than it must not be that bad!! Lol! Great story!

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  13. tiostib says:

    You’ve won my Monday Morning Madness Award for the single event that flips me out of the drudgery of same-oh, same-oh expectations. Kudos!

    Like

  14. renxkyoko says:

    Reminds me of Twilight, and this manga Midnight Secretary. Nice short story , Peter Wells ! ! !

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  15. Candy L says:

    A brilliant take on an old classic!

    Like

  16. ASH says:

    A visit from the Pluto of your soular system!
    You scared me

    Like

  17. nelle says:

    Har… clever wandering into a different genre for you.

    Like

  18. Awe, yes! Sometimes looking into the “mirror” can cause great consternation to the soul…

    Like

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