My Wedding Day!

The clock beside me said 6:23am: digital and with unmoving hands, time  seemed to be standing still it seemed to me. At 2pm today I would become a married man and what was rising through me was raw unprocessed panic: the knowledge I was on the edge of a terrible catastrophe!

I’d had doubts, of course, those are normal, but suddenly I realised I was walking into a form of prison where personality is not allowed to express itself and only general patterns of behaviour are permitted. Did I want to be that conventional!?

My family loved her, my parents loved her, my friends were impressed that I had “tagged” someone so presentable and sensible but now, at this “late hour” I realised I had been herded to a pasture called “Common-sense” and I could not bear the prospect. I loved her, of course, and that gentle way she dealt with failings, of which I have many, but her kindness was suffocating me, and the idea of being trapped in this union seemed unbearable.

As the rest of my family slept in the house around me, I packed a bag and crept down stairs. Using my key I opened and closed the front door as quietly as I could and then hurried away up the street before anyone could see me.

I had no plans, panic always has no plans, but escaping was all I could think of and I would explain myself another day. At this early hour the tube station was not open so I just kept walking towards the next one, worried that someone from my area would recognise me and ask me what I was doing: that did not happen.

At last, at 7am, the stations opened and I planned to go to Euston but first I travelled on the circle line going round and round while wondering about my life. I had no strategy except possibly going to Manchester, where I had been a student and whose streets were full of memories, adventures and those trysts which remind us we were not always domesticated.

Calmer now, I began to think a bit about what I had done, and some confusion ran through me because, I must admit, I am not an easy man as you may have realised, but Sarah had that patience which can bring peace to any soul as she had mine. What she saw in me I cannot say? While thinking this fear flowed through me, but from the other side: was I wrong?

Perhaps she was the one girl who could tame my chaos and help me make something of my life, but now it was too late: my absence would have been noted and people would be trying to reach me. Needless to say, I had turned my phone off so no one could trace me: how would I explain myself?

To try and settle my nerves I did what all wise men do; left the underground, entered a pub and bought myself a drink to calm my nerve: I needed to do some ordered sensible thinking. The fates are not always kind, and sometimes seem downright unpleasant so as I raised my second double whisky to my lips I heard a song I love come from the speakers, “If you leave me now,” by Chicago. It was one of my dad’s favourites and he used to play it and swing my mother round the kitchen to its melody: she’s passed on now and he’s married someone else but those memories always linger don’t they?

At last, as far away from common sense as you can travel in a lifetime, I returned to the underground to complete my journey: the time was 11:03. I was full of indecision and regret and uncertainty and almost any kind of “Un” you can imagine, but I was too embarrassed to go back: Sarah would never forgive me, and perhaps the news had already got through to her.

I arrived at Euston station at around 11:20 and walked towards the departure boards, as ruined by his own stupidity as any man can be . As I did so, I heard a voice I recognise call out my name: it was my step-mother’s elder brother, doubtless on the way to the wedding and not one of my favourite people. “Steven” he called. “What the hell are you doing here. You are getting married in two hours!?”

About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in character, creative writing, Fiction, humour, Love, marriage, Peter Wells and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

28 Responses to My Wedding Day!

  1. mikesteeden says:

    ‘Panic always has no plans’. An honest line most would never admit. A fine piece of work, Peter.


  2. Your wondrous talent would p*ss me off if I was the jealous sort (which I am!). Original, as always. Terrific.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nevertheless, your support is always very appreciated I can tell you 🙂


  4. On my wedding day, my Dad asked me if I still wanted to go. I said yes. It was a mistake, and I should have heeded my doubts three months previously. We separated three years later. When Hubby and I married in 1991, he took handcuffs with him with the intention of chaining me to the railings in case I changed my mind! They weren’t needed and it was one of the best days of my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ksbeth says:

    i loved this piece, peter. loved his back and forth, uncertainty, as we all do, some more than others, with big decisions at times. sometimes, even as we make a choice, we know we are making the wrong one. i’ve been there, and learned from it, but oh, what lesson –

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “I was full of indecision and regret and uncertainty and almost any kind of “Un” you can imagine, but I was too embarrassed to go back” Truthful words.. I’ve done some panicked or angry storm outs in my time which lead me wandering around thinking “…ok, so what now?? Lol! It’s funny what a moments thought can change! Great story!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Fate, destiny or irony? Wonderful tale, Peter.


  8. Al says:

    Rut roh…….

    Liked by 1 person

  9. ASH says:

    You are quite the shape-shifter.


  10. So did you marry that day?


  11. tiostib says:

    I thoroughly enjoy your pieces and often wonder why. Is it the sublime but restrained sense of intimacy you crate with your characters? Is it the poignancy of human frailty? yes, I certainly enjoy the understated wit. All said though, I sense that what I most enjoy is the knowing that another human being has gone through his life paying guarded attention to how others are living their lives and caring enough about people to write their stories lovingly.

    Again, much thanks for sharing your love of life and creative brilliance.


    • I have to say I could say the same about you! One of the great beauties of blogging is that it can connect you with people of similar interest and outlook and give you that beautiful sense of sharing values but with people you would otherwise have never connect, quite possibly in different continents, from different backgrounds, age groups and the rest but joined by a common love of being aware and moved always by the human experience. You comments always bring a smile to my face, and I wish you a very happy Sunday 🙂


  12. Array says: very much enjoyed this piece, Peter. Having the choice as yojr character did can almost make things much harder… Your work is as always very original🙂


  13. nelle says:

    Sometimes having someone there to sort out the traps we imagine is a good thing. Sometimes it helps to have people aware we perceive a trap.


  14. Yourhigness says:

    great piece of work.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Amazing how some of our best escapes are interrupted by circumstance – maybe one we planned all along.


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