I cannot hold your hand this year, I cannot share that memory. I cannot pour a drink for you or walk the beach where we both walked. I cannot laugh as we both laughed or dance a night time’s life away, sure we have eternity
I cannot hold your arm this year, and steady you across the road: two old people braving time and laughing at futility. I cannot travel back with you, glass in hand, to memories when young at heart, we hid our insecurities.
I cannot see you in the room, smiling as you always did, at some transgression in our midst, or drive too fast down country lanes or swim where reckless people did: ignoring safety was our ” thing.”
We always got away with it: made it to the other side; but you are gone and I am here, stripped of context by my age, a mystery in this sheltered home, now without a family. I cannot hold your hand this year.
countingducks 
so sad and full of love. happy holidays to you and yours –
LikeLike
I hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving. We don’t do that festival here, but I still get a bit caught up in the excitement 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That touched me greatly Peter since it echoes my own position so well. And while I may not see her in the room as often these days I still get a sense of her being around and I want to turn and talk to her.
Hugs
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for that lovely comment. I hope you have an enjoyable weekend
LikeLiked by 1 person
Grief is acutely felt on the holidays. It’s such a shame that it is part of life.
LikeLike
It is but I hope you and yours have a really wonderful day
LikeLike
Thanks Peter. Same to you!
LikeLike
This is so beautiful.
LikeLike
Thank you very much for commenting. It makes my day 🙂
LikeLike
Beautiful Peter 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you very much
LikeLiked by 1 person
A very moving piece, Peter. Hugs to you.
LikeLike
OOO, don’t make me cry, darling. xxxxx
LikeLike
I hope you and yours have a lovely Thanksgiving
LikeLike
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you 🙂
LikeLike
Beautiful… sniff… offering you hugs this holiday, and hopes that happy memories help fill the void of loved ones lost…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope you have a lovely day and your comments always cheer my day
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is mutual, friend! And that is a wonderful gift, even on the saddest days… 🙂
LikeLike
Unutterably moving, Peter.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much
LikeLike
His smile is in the sun that glitters on my meadow, his warmth is in the fire I build to warm my home. But, yes, I miss his hand.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok…I’m bawling here. Simply beautiful.
LikeLike
I hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving. Thank you, as always for your lovely comments
LikeLike
Oh Peter, this is so beautifully sad! “The smile, the bright blue eyes,the gentle voice,the tender squeeze on the hand…” Yes! all that I miss! I wish you peace and love at this time of the year. Thank you for sharing your beautiful writing.
LikeLike
Thank you so much for your lovely comment. As always, very heart warming.
LikeLike
This is a very moving story, Peter, helped, I feel, by the repition that you have employed. A lovely piece.
LikeLike
Thank you very much as always for your kind and thoughtful words
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautifully done, Peter, though too close to home for some of us.
LikeLike
In some way, as we know, our closest friends and loved ones never eave us. Thank you for the lovely comment
LikeLike
No, they are always part of us for what we share. Even so…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gave me a lump in my throat, counts for the loss of all our loved ones. Beautifully written, I hope u can still enjoy the lovely memories u clearly have. And find comfort in that and those who are still here to care for u. If u get a chance, maybe take a glance at my post about the loss of a dear aunt, and how I felt reluctant to ‘give in’ to the familiar pain of loss. Knowing I would have to, of course. It’s called “Goodbye in any language is a big ask”. Maybe will help too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am going to go over and read that post now. Thank you for the lovely comment
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sadness and love are always intertwined….though not nearly with as much beauty as when you write about them.
LikeLike
They are, but it is always so much better to have lost a friend than never to have met them. I will be raising a glass to you at my Thanksgiving dinner later today, while I am still sober enough to do so !
LikeLike
Ah, this is so sad yet beautiful. A very moving story. I love it. ^^
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for the lovely comment
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very nice FYI notched minor typo?:
“but are you are gone”
Always enjoy the conversational confidences of your work
ASH
Please visit My ASH-FICTION.COM SITE
LikeLike
This brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful way to remember a loved one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So sad, and yet so full of love. Great post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lovely, touching words that lost none of their sentiment in their journey across the Atlantic.
LikeLiked by 1 person
These are the times we feel their absence most – the festive times – watching the young with all their lives in front of them and wishing somehow we could be that way again. Nonetheless there is happiness in memories too. I wish you all the best, aware nothing can replace the things you miss, but hoping the season can still bring you joy. We all await the coming of spring.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So poignant for so many reasons. Nicely done. Going to share if I can figure out how. 😊❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Because I loved you | JanniStyles1
Janni Styles dun figured it out, as I followed the crumbs here. And I must concur; poignant for all the right reasons. Ever so hard would it be to live or unbearable to realize the futility of carrying on without the context of a special someone’s (for me I’d insert my Mother). Without the memory of them, if it were to vanish, the impact as traumatic as living in the moment of stepping in front of train, over and over and over again.
LikeLike
So beautiful and so poignant.
A happy Christmas to you, Peter wells. You’re such an inspiration.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So touching Peter!
LikeLike
So beautiful and touching.
LikeLike