I have always been a sort of psychological explorer, interested in those minute changes of mood as the mind travels between one moment and another. As an author of no repute, but wishing to gain one, I recently tried to conduct some research outside the local railway station leading to one or two awkward encounters. Let me give you an example and a half.
I see a man struggling to get his mobile phone out of his pocket. I walk up to him, equipped with my most harmless smile and say, “Good Morning. I am an author of no repute, currently conducting a research project on those miniscule mood changes which connect one moment to another. Can you take me through the range of emotions you experienced while trying to extricate your phone from what is clearly a poorly packed pocket or “PPP” as we say in the writing game.”
By then the man is already on the phone and wondering who this gap-toothed stranger is preventing him listening to the man who has called him. I know it’s a man, by the way, because, obviously, I am doing a little eavesdropping on the side to gain a bit more background texture on the situation, ( It’s a writer thing you know.) This is a family Blog so I cannot record his full reply but let me just say it had two words in it. The first one began with “F” and the second one was “Off.”
Being a pioneer in the micro-emotional research movement or “MERM” as we say in the trade, I walked away unbowed by this experience to continue my research with another member of the public. Now I see some gentleman of prosperous appearance arguing with a cab-driver about the appropriate tip he should be paying, and, as a writer of established repute might say, “Smooth as an eel in a river of jam” I oil up to him and say, as you’d expect, “I am an author of no repute currently conducting a research project on those miniscule mood changes which connect one moment to another. Can you take me through the range of emotions you experienced while trying to get out of tipping this taxi driver?” I’m not certain whether he, in his turn, had been doing a little eavesdropping but, uncannily, he also turned to me and used the same short reply system or “SRS,” as we say in the writing game, offering up the expletive response of the hour ending with the word “Off”
Clearly, I will have to adjust my research techniques if I am going to make any progress in my studies but when I finally crack the required approach I will write up my report for you or “WUMRFY” as we say in the trade. It might make interesting reading!