A Gap In The Love Chain


Bernard Monkfish, not blessed in name or nature, was the product of a father whose imagination was exercised with little awareness of its effect on others, hence his son had become a nervous and wary adult, which is the point at which we join him in his life.

Here he is, sitting in a café with a white coffee in front of him, peering at the view outside the window. Hope and opportunity pass by us all the time, and offer us the chance to change our lives. Bernard was one of those people who could sit on a mountainside built on good fortune, and see nothing there. He was a gap in the love chain, silence in the world of music and the block in a writer’s imagination.

Only in one area did he display a pleasing quirkiness and sense of community eccentricity: that was in the Lower Saddleworth Jousting and Knightly Courtesies club, of which he was club secretary and a long serving member. Following a Saturday morning cutting some shapes on the village green, he was now in a café with his morning coffee, pleasingly unaware that being a man in a full suite of armour, and with the sun glinting off his visor,  might present an unusual figure to the locals.

The problem he had, which he had not yet communicated, was that the visor had become jammed during that morning’s high-jinks, and he did not have the nerve to ask the café owner for a straw small enough to slip through the tiny apertures insisted on by the health and safety committee so that the knight,  thus encased ,could continue to breath.

Just when all seemed lost, and the coffee was about to cool below those temperatures generally recognised as offering the most pleasure to the informed sipper, a glamorous blond sat down in front of him and said, “My knight in shining armour. How are you darling?” Bernard may have returned her smile, but we have no way of knowing that. Still, unusually forward for a man with his social caution, he said, “My Visor’s stuck. ”

“What’s that my darling, my little chickadee, my bold warrior” she said and Bernard repeated the information. Without further commentary she removed a nail file from her well-equipped handbag, fiddled around with the visor for a few seconds until, sure enough, it opened to reveal the face of Bernard, complete with pale moustache and steamed-up glasses. “You’ve got lovely eyes” she said and started laughing, while Bernard quickly attacked the coffee now within a half-degree of being ruined.

“Are you married?” she asked and Bernard shook his head. “Are you living with anyone; in a serious relationship; or the victim of any weird impulses? Bernard kept shaking his head. The women, later revealed to be called Beatrice  smiled, and said. “A Knight in shining armour and still available: lucky me. You can buy me lunch”

Thus it was that Bernard, the unluckiest of men, got pinned against the wall by good fortune and offered a fresh start in life. She, it transpired, was his missing link, and they were married within three months. To see the pair of them setting off to local Jousting events suitably attired, and with a small can of emergency oil in her maiden’s handbag, was to see how happiness can bloom in the most unlikely circumstance, and those who see life without hope  can still be saved by chance.

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About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in character, childhood, community, creative writing, Fiction, humour, Love, Romance, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to A Gap In The Love Chain

  1. Utterly charming, and full of hope – just the thing for a rainy day! Thanks Peter 🙂

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  2. This is absolutely wonderful and delightful!

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  3. Caroline says:

    Wonderful – there’s hope for us all!!

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  4. Ina says:

    Lol, that is lovely. An armour… I hope he will rust in peace 🙂

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  5. eric keys says:

    A positively wonderful ode to Chance! Chance is, in my opinion, the most believable of all the gods.

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  6. Al says:

    I’m assuming, ducks, that Beatrice, is also now his most trusted advisor.

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  7. catterel says:

    Read this just after the Culture Monk, who is doing a tour of coffee houses to meet people – now this would be an interesting encounter! Lovely story, and as always exquisitely related. Thanks!

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  8. DCTdesigns says:

    “My Hero!”- Love the role reversal. She saves the knight in shining armor. Very Clever.

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  9. I do love the way you write your couples. I feel there’s always a slight smile as I read them.

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  10. gwpj says:

    Wonderful! And what a dilemma our hero finds himself in. I’m left wondering: was his visor rusted shut?

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  11. Oh this has to be one of my favourites!! I was smiling all the way from his name down to “My visor’s stuck” and that got me! Laughing out loud. And it all tailed off so gently towards the end. Just super duper Peter 😊

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  12. 1WriteWay says:

    What a lovely story, and told so very well. I do love this line: “Bernard was one of those people who could sit on a mountainside built on good fortune, and see nothing there.” I know so many people like that. Actually, I was often like that … something changed when I got into my 50s 😉

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  13. Katie says:

    A fairy tale dream Cinder-fella miracle come true. I love this.

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  14. “What’s that my darling, my little chickadee, my bold warrior”—
    I do so adore sexy talk!!
    xxxxxxxxx Kiss from MN.

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  15. nelle says:

    It would have been quite an awkward relationship if the mask could not be removed. 😉

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  16. She had to be blond, didn’t she, Peter? 🙂

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