I Joined A Gym

Oh yes, I did: on my own and without coaching or the use of a map. In the northern hemisphere at least, it is that time of year when we face up to ourselves and say,

” YOU, Yes You. That slouchy plumpy guy sneaking in a helping of cake while watching a television programme on installing bathroom cabinets in the sure knowledge that you will never install one in your life. Stand up, look in that dust-protected mirror and say to yourself, “No more, not on my watch. I will be the best I can be as soon as I know what that is. I will read more challenging books, learn to enjoy lettuce without any dressing and, most of all, go to this new gym on a regular basis.”

The guy who runs it, sadly, looks as if he knows what fitness is, and looking at me, is sure I do not possess it. He has machines and weights of every shape and pain threshold but no coffee shop; no cake counter; no soft music to ease the shock associated with facing up to your failings: progress will be painful, but unavoidable.

Why unavoidable, one of the most chilling words in the English language ?   Because I actually meet the owner nearly everyday and it is one thing to slide quietly away from your resolutions towards the comforting world of bar music and salted peanuts,  and quite another to be seen to do so. In future, if I falter on the path to fitness, I know I will have to explain my conduct to him, and he will join that army of acquaintances who look at me reproachfully as I walk over yet another ‘line is the sand’  while  distracted by some engrossing article on the sports pages of my daily paper,

I have recently published a series of photographs  located via that FB page portal seen beside this post  to help publicize the book I have had published recently, the name of which currently escapes me, but I am sure it will return, along with photographs of me smiling, but guarded by less chins and bearing that weight of responsibility recently assumed by me with a smile, certainly, but less chins: I look forward to that day!


About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in blog, character, community, creative writing, dieting, Fiction, fitness, Health, humour, Life, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to I Joined A Gym

  1. Caroline says:

    Progress, I’m sure will be swift, if somewhat painful at times!! Breathe in and go for it! xxx


  2. Oh how the vagaries of life do chase us relentlessly to some plumped up version of ourselves. I envy those with the metabolism of a fast-burning star and I offer you my encouragement. Here’s hoping my yoga will one day accomplish what you seek in your neighbourhood gym.


  3. ***it is one thing to slide quietly away from your resolutions towards the comforting world of bar music and salted peanuts, and quite another to be seen to do so. ***

    Brava, Sweets. btw, I loved your chins exactly where they are! xx


  4. Dylan Hearn says:

    Do it because you want to, rather than because you have to. Once you make that mental switch, the chore turns into a joy.
    Well done for making that first step.


  5. Rainee says:

    I know how you feel Peter. If only we could buy motivation! Good luck! PS Did I tell you that I really enjoyed your book? 🙂


  6. Al says:

    Being in shape is over-rated. Apple crumb cake….well, that’s another story.


  7. catterel says:

    Want to be in good shape? Cuddly is a very good shape 😀


  8. This is great news! There’s nothing like a bit of accountability. My PT is absolutely fierce at times!


  9. randomrose says:

    one, two, three, step, one, two three, step…congratualtions


  10. Ina says:

    Good for you 🙂 Move that body! lol I admire people that go for it. My husband does too. I only walk a bit, with my stick and only if my pains allow it. But even that is better than sitting all day!


  11. Good luck! Rather you than me though. Fancy a cuppa and some banana bread? It’s actually still warm 😊


  12. Jane Thorne says:

    Love this…you will be a legend in lycra! 🙂


  13. jmmcdowell says:

    I don’t think I could handle the social nature of a gym, but I do try to be good about exercising at home. I really do feel better for it, both physically and mentally. It’s tough to get in the habit, but ever so worth it when you do.


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  15. nelle says:

    I use an exercise bike 5 nights a week. Walking is another sure way to better health. The key to sustainability is to enjoy what it is you do, and I cope with the former by reading while riding.

    Find what works for you.


  16. I had to, and still must, continually remind myself that the weight didn’t go ON overnight and it won’t come OFF overnight either. Best wishes on reaching your goals!


    • What you say rings true for me. The gym owner, who is a kindly man, has promised to be tolerant, and space the rigours of his regime with conversation. All I need to do now is control my appetite; That should be easy ha ha ha


      • lol It’s not so bad. Mr. Muse and I bought a really good kitchen scale and weighed out everything according to servings on packages. We’ve each lost 65 pounds from our heaviest by doing that and adding in moderate exercise. It can be done. 🙂


  17. So funny. It reminds me of the time my son and I were miles away from our hometown and decided to eat out at a restaurant NOT on the “food approved by my personal trainer who owned the gym” mentor. I was caught. Red-handed with chip and salsa aimed toward my mouth. Dead on. He just smiled but that smile was loaded with “aha” and “caught you” and “boy are you in for it on our next appointment.” My mom always used to say, “Be sure your sins will find out out.” Miles from home. Loved your post!


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