Wardrobe Function


My wardrobe, like a mature garden, changes with the seasons but no new plants or clothing items are purchased. As the weather grows warmer, the jacket comes off and then the jumper and I just walk around in a shirt, together with the jeans and shoes which remain in service regardless of the weather. I believe in having three pairs of shoes. One for comfort, one smart black pair, and one smart brown pair. Neither of them are worn very often because I am not smart, and that was explained carefully to both pairs before they agreed to become part of the Countingducks clothing supplies department.

Thus life has rolled on, and I have been happy with gradually putting on more layers as the temperatures changes, and I look forward to when jumpers and jackets could be quietly removed again to enjoy their well-earned summer break: shirts, by the very nature of their calling must work throughout the year.

This year, however, something has gone wrong. Some germs or a virus, no doubt exhausted from all that travelling and activity decided to take a break within my person and very soon afterwards I could be heard coughing and wheezing in riotous welcome, as well as experiencing fatigue and other odd symptoms. The health department blamed the jacket, saying it was too thin, and proceeded to get me a thicker ‘winter’ coat.

Now I am left with the choice, which I made this morning, over whether the air is cold enough to justify what I call “the emergency jacket” or warm enough to favour my ‘normal’ jacket whose feelings, I fear , are in danger of being bruised by the new kid in the wardrobe. This bewildering level of sensitivity cuts no ice with her ladyship and on those days, like today, when I decided to leave it inside, I gave my loyal pal a quiet pat to remind it that “It’s day would soon come again”.  Sometimes we all need reassurance about our worth, even a humble jacket, and a  quick pat on the back can make all the difference to our day.

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About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in character, community, creative writing, Fiction, Health, humour, Life, Relationships, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Wardrobe Function

  1. catterel says:

    Faithful old friends can remain in my wardrobe for years, long after they have gone out of fashion or apparently shrunk 6 sizes – I can’t bear to hurt their feelings by discarding them completely. Your jacket will understand, its day will come again. Mine must be feeling quite in despair, on the other hand.

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  2. desertrose7 says:

    Hmm, well some of my clothes must need serious therapy then because there’s too many of them for me to give my undivided care and attention to. (Always enjoy your posts.)

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  3. Ina says:

    Love this. I put my summerclothes in the attic, can’t wait to have them down again, and see what fits. I only wore my wintercoat twice this winter, I use an in between coat slash Summer coat, but in Summer I never wear it. lol I can imagine my clothes are mad at me, I never pay attention to them when they are in the attic 🙂

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  4. Hmm I think there’s a gender split when it comes to clothes. Im afraid mine don’t become too attached to me for they know their fate after a season or two!! 😄 But we (my chosen clothes and I) enter the relationship fully aware it will be a fling!

    Great post Peter, and this, together with the sunshine that has just appeared has lifted me no end.

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  5. eric keys says:

    Oh, how many times have I neede to make such agonizing choices… Such profound stuff ought to warrant some sort of epic poem of TV mini-series.

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  6. Love the personification in this piece, it works really well. I must admit to always speaking in complimentary tones when dealing with electronic items – after all you never know when they’ll turn against you!

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  7. babs50nfab says:

    You and my husband will get along famously!

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  8. I think it’s kind, how you explained your disinterest to the smart brown and black shoes. Kind and clever, really. I should go now and express my condolences to all of my shoes that are not boots. “It’s not your fault, you’re all so pretty, but snow…”

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  9. Reblogged this on Ladywithatruck's Blog and commented:
    so true!

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  10. Jane Thorne says:

    A pat on the back for you Ducky. x

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  11. Old jackets are like old friends….

    comfortable, warm, & familiar.

    I want to keep them forever.

    LUV to you, dear sweet Peter.

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  12. Al says:

    Talking to your clothes now, eh ducks? It’s good to know you’ve finally come out of the closet.

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  13. Jane says:

    There is nothing more comforting than the hug from a worn soft robe or the embraced of a pair of slippers so well molded to your feet that only you can wear them. Both rate in my circle of close friends.

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  14. I can’t read ‘wardrobe function’ without thinking of ‘wardrobe malfunction’. A neologism to explain an Oops moment. Pure genius.

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  15. one percent items of my wardrobe change, because of wear and tear, the rest remain same…

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  16. 1WriteWay says:

    Lovely post. Unfortunately I have too many clothes to get personal with each of them, but I have a few favorites and they know who they are. A couple are ready for the rag bin, but it can be so hard to say goodbye to a perfectly faded, creatively mended denim shirt. So it stays on the hanger since wearing it one more time might cause the collar to come off 🙂

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  17. The older I get the less I like new clothes (might have something to do with having to look in one of those full-length mirrors when trying them on). Tried and true, I say! What a fun and engaging post, Peter – clothes can certainly make us feel more or less ourselves. 🙂

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  18. restlessjo says:

    I get the feeling you would be a great person to have around to administer that pat, Peter. 🙂 And you write beautifully.

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  19. renxkyoko says:

    You really are a good writer. I like this post ! !

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  20. renobarb says:

    I enjoyed the mental image of you negotiating with your wardrobe, specifically your shoes. There often are times when a favorite piece of clothing becomes an old friend, a source of comfort or inspiration. Thanks for stopping by my blog-it gave me the chance to discover yours!

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  21. And this is exactly why I have a hard time tossing my worn out sneakers. They are my pals. I’m the loyal sort, too!

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  22. gotham girl says:

    This is such a great posting! Now, whenever I see an invitation that reads…”smart casual”…I’ll always think of you!

    Like

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