The Parting


Value her as he did, and love her as he did he could not promise to value her always, and that scrupulous thought forced him to walk away and not look back. That look she gave him then, empty and yet charged, would haunt him all his life. As if he had, with unconscious wantonness, trampled on some sacred ground: her sacred ground.

Before the age of knowledge, when she discovered him walking in his oddness, and smiling at the view it had all seemed so simple and innocent and tender, He, whose life was like some dried and arid plain, a stranger to passing moisture or interest, had wondered at her giving heart, and how she made a prayer of all she did. It seemed a wonder in his life, to be found and loved so openly, but he was young and oddly scrupulous.

He felt he must be understood yet free, and had still to discover that all things have their price, and that life cannot be lived without some compromise. Later, in years ahead, he  often looked back and saw her timeless beauty and those haunting eyes imprinted in his memory, staring up the path as they had then and always would, and looking at him across his history in each new circumstance and saying with a simple truth, “You never knew what I gave you” and he never had till now, when love, once more, was like a stranger in his life, and tenderness only touched him  in his dreams.

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About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in character, creative writing, Fiction, Life, Love, old age, Relationships, Romance, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to The Parting

  1. Beautiful writing. Great intro sentences, reeled me in.

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  2. Beautiful. Simply Beautiful.

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  3. Al says:

    There’s always eHarmony.

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  4. how she made a prayer of all she did…lovely line.

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  5. To me this reads like a love song between the Father Sky and Mother Earth myths of creation. It is beautifully told with just the right amount of sadness and regret, poignancy and melancholy. Wonderfully written!

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  6. CKoepp says:

    Nicely done! Excellent imagery.

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  7. gotham girl says:

    Pure sweetness! Beautiful!

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  8. lexborgia says:

    A beautiful piece. Great start to the year.

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  9. Ahhh I feel quite moved! Such lovely writing with more than a hint of wistfulness… 🙂

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  10. I melt inside your words, P. Xxx

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  11. Jane says:

    Beautiful, all I can say.

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  12. Phew, this really, really touched my heart. The final line, ‘tenderness only touched him in his dreams’, brought tears welling up…

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  13. Pingback: The Parting | Laurel's Reflections

  14. This is very “wow” Peter. It is simply beautiful and speaks to me of risks not taken; there is definitely a wistful feel to it. How sad that “tendeness only touched him in his dreams”.
    …gow she made a
    Rayervof all she sid” is just a beautiful line.

    What a fabulous start to a new year. I hope it continuesto be a very content and creative one for you. 😊

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  15. Damn! How did I make such a mess of that comment?! 😄. Typing with one finger is my excuse even if its not a good one because I also forget to check!

    “…how she made a prayer of all she did”. – that’s better! 😊

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  16. So beautifully written I could really see him.
    b

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  17. Ina says:

    Hi Peter, this again was a very good read, sad like the end of a romance usually is, and lovely the memory.

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  18. “He, whose life was like some dried and arid plain, a stranger to passing moisture or interest…” Such wonderful imagery.

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  19. poppy23 says:

    That’s awesome! Really touching!! I love it.

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  20. Such pain expressed so beautifully… Marvelous piece

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  21. Well done. The last line–perfect.

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  22. You have such a pure talent of exploring the moments when we get what we want, and discover the hidden flaws; or we leave behind something we see as flawed, later realizing that in its flaw was its beauty.

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  23. This is stunning, Peter … so poetic and not really sad … but then I am a sucker for such memories of love … the kind that seem to make it richer and more truthful. Lovely, so lovely! This truly speaks of your lovely heart and spirit!

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  24. Shonnie says:

    Lovely dear friend.

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  25. nelle says:

    This is such a brilliant short work, so many things I love in the story, in the words chosen, in its construct. This is my personal favourite amongst all of your work.

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  26. kate4samh says:

    Absolutely one of my favourites. Much like you, yourself x

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  27. beautiful piece Peter. love is mostly an illusion

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  28. Breathless. And that is all… for now… 😉

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  29. Chris Edgar says:

    I like that observation that being understood (and thus being close enough to someone to allow yourself to be understood) and being free (in the sense of being at arm’s length from someone) are often incompatible with each other and sometimes we have to choose.

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  30. My friend.. this is simply beautiful. You had me hanging on every word, especially at the end of this. It was simply beautiful.

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  31. desertrose7 says:

    A wonderful tapestry of beautiful words.

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  32. Lovely and melancholy 🙂

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  33. fromthatweirdlittleplace says:

    Very beautiful

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