He stood in the cold outside his former life and home and discovered the reality of what it is to be an exile. To see a world continue, but no longer be a part of it. With all that gone, he knew that he could not just knock on the door. Say he was “only passing” and “Could he have a cup of tea”, Standing there, looking at the small front lawn, he remembered planting it about twelve years before, and even recalling, cruel as the memory now seemed, his wife Ruth coming out to him with tea and with a young Amy, then just two years ,old clinging to her dress. The very picture of an ordered family, now decimated by his lack of will, destroyed by a temptation unimagined in those sweet early years: what had he done?
There were no tears, but only a deepening sadness and that sense of isolation, until at last, he turned on his heel, and set off back to his new lodgings. For now at least, he would find no comfort here, and he must do his best to build a life out of the ruins he created. There is a phrase, largely in disuse, but somehow it surfaced in his mind. He had become ‘Beyond the pale’ whatever that might mean, and climbing back out of it was a journey he had difficulty to contemplating.
The adverts say there is always sunshine, but there is not always sunshine. We feel there must be hope but, for some, there is not always hope, and the world without it is a dark and exposing place. Giles walked his walk more alone in mind and spirit than he had ever been. The wilderness rose up around him, as if by some strange magic, and grappled at his limbs with merciless stamina. There seemed no destination left with purpose. The journey home, or whatever that place was called, was one of instinct rather than direction. Free of strategy, and without any emotional bearings he moved because he had no other choice. It was the last thing he had left, and he would just keep moving and praying, because that was all there was, apart from his engrossing solitude.
A sad story. You discribe his feelings very well.
LikeLike
As you see such people walk past you, lost in their own reflections, you never know how their mood or life is shaped
LikeLike
You’ve put into words exactly how I felt not so many years ago.
xx
LikeLike
The nice thing is, how you’ve rebuilt yourself and now help others
LikeLike
Very moving.
LikeLike
Thank you very much. I appreciate the comment
LikeLike
This is a moving piece which highlights how something small and insignificant (perhaps?) can grow and spiral until there appears no way back.
LikeLike
I agree. What, on the surface, can seem a minor incident can, for the individual, have enormous significance and consequences
LikeLike
Very moving – and symbolic of many “places” in the past that we know we can’t revisit. Well expressed yet again, Ducks.
LikeLike
There are many ‘places’ like this sadly
LikeLike
This is a great story – in fact it feels like the beginning of a much longer one…:-)
LikeLike
It is actually an excerpt from a book I’m writing, which I thought could stand on it own
LikeLike
You have expressed the feelings extremely well of what going through a divorce feels like, even when you are not the person who was tempted.
LikeLike
I know. After the shock has gone, comes the awareness, and it is a hard place to be for either party
LikeLike
The price of choice. We all face it every day. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we don’t.
LikeLike
This guy doesn’t seem to have come out of it too well sadly
LikeLike
Oh the lessons we learn by our experiences in life…beautifully written.
LikeLike
Anyone with some life behind them has either lived this, or seen it in others. It a sad aspect of modern living
LikeLike
Time is that weird dimension. You can move forward and look back, but you can’t look forward or move back… except in science fiction.
LikeLike
Very true
LikeLike
You conveyed his sadness so well. One foot in front of the other…it’s the only way to get past our mistakes.
b
LikeLike
” Sometimes we row because we must: there is nothing else to do”. I remember writing something like that a couple of years ago
LikeLike
You are incredibly tuned in to the nuances of the roller coaster called life. That you can put it to pen so well allows us share the gift.
LikeLike
You comments always add to my experience of writing the post, which is a very good quality of yours maestro. This is actually an excerpt from the book I am currently writing, which I thought could stand on its own as a post.
LikeLike
Beautifully written – so perceptive. I think a lot of people would relate to this. It made me sad.
LikeLike
I’m afraid the experience is all to common
LikeLike
You write with such emotion and tragedy … yet I don’t find it sentimental … that’s a good thing. Beautiful …
LikeLike
Very nice to see a comment from you. I hope you are well
LikeLike
I liked this piece. I’m going to find him a tiny bit of hope. Give it time 🙂
LikeLike
He could certainly use some poor guy
LikeLike
A beautifully written piece, the title is perfect.:)
LikeLike
I am pleased you liked it. Thank you for commenting
LikeLike
Oh gosh Peter, this is so moving! Acting without thinking about consequences is so very easytodo and yet those consequences can be devastating and life altering as you describe so brilliantly here. This gave me shivers.
Your writing just keps getting better and better with every piece you produce. 😊
LikeLike
It always gives me a little fillip to see your comments, and you are always so nice and supportive. Who could ask for more in a blogging chum
LikeLike
This piece is beautifully written but oh so sad and encapsulates once again the foibles that make us human.
LikeLike
He is certainly paying a price for his conduct
LikeLike
I feel your words inside my bones.
Xxxx LOVE from MN.
LikeLike
Coming from you, that is a compliment. You are one hell of a good writer yourself in my opinion
LikeLike
To see a world continue but no longer be part of it – that expresses it well, Peter.
A very soulful piece, very moving. I can imagine him, and I feel for him.
LikeLike
I think we can all feel for him, poor guy, but at the moment he is lost in his own introspection: a place without lights
LikeLike
Beautifully shared. Poignant. Powerful. Brilliant. I’ve missed the magic of your writing Peter and I’m glad to reconnect again. It feels so so good to visit your blog my friend, and I thank you for encouraging me during the months of silence. Much appreciated. 🙂
Keep on with your great writing!
Elizabeth
LikeLike
Its very nice to see you here again. People like me grow fond of Bloggers we connect with over time, and when they disappear, for excellent reasons I am sure, we always feel anxious. Your support is very appreciated, and so is your reappearance
LikeLike
TY! Hope to stick around but only time and effort will tell.
Hugs,
Eliz
LikeLike
Hi. Just wanted to let you know in case you’d not seen it in the Reader that I’ve nominated your wonderful blog for the Versatile Blogger Award.
LikeLike
How very kind. It’s always cheering to receive an award. I shall go over to your Blog now
LikeLike
Such a moving story. I like how you don’t explain how Giles put his life in ruins. It’s really not relevant. Our imaginations will suffice. We only need to know that he did something that he must now regret but can’t change. It’s chilling, really, to think how a rash action (perhaps in his case, perhaps not) could leave one in total isolation. Well done, Peter 🙂
LikeLike
Amazing and Thank you very much, Interesting article, Thanks and regards
LikeLike
Life and the choices we make are not always (or ever) what we expect. Giles is having to face what most of us fear the most–ourselves in the blaring silence of solitude.
LikeLike
Peter, love this. Your writing is gripping. From the first words.
A reflective piece. I’ve got to say, I have a great deal of solitude because I’ve cut so so many people off my life along the way – too difficult to continue to know, grew apart, couldn’t share my real me with them. I really liked this piece, Peter.
LikeLike
This is a moving write and one always hopes for happy endings. However there is always hope and it could be the end of his sadness or the beginning of something better. He has not yet revealed his hopes and dreams. Could there possibly be a turning point. Like in the “sword and the stone” where everyone thought it was stuck in the rock for eternity
LikeLike
You are an excellent writer. I’m so glad I saw your “Like” of one of my posts and decided to check out your site earlier today. I’m now an enthusiastic follower.
Russ
LikeLike