You Gotta Laugh


So I’m walking along, and here comes Nick, who I’ve not seen in a while but, you know Nick, he’s whistling and got his hands stuck in his pockets: cheery and all’s right with the world, and he gives me a nod. “How’s it going Nick?, How’s work?” I ask

“Invisible mate” says he, cheery as a glutton in a chocolate factory, and I asked him what he means. “I’m unemployed: can’t get a look in anywhere” “Ooh that’s not good Nick” says I.  “How do you fill in the time?”

“Oh no problem with that. I spend three of four hours looking out of the window trying to see if I can spot the leaves in the tree across the road growing”. I raise my eyebrows a little because that sounds a bit, you know, weird. “Not much point in pursuing that line”, I thought, poor old Nick, so I asked what else he did. “We’ll there’s exercise of course, I make the bed every day. Chuck the duvet round a bit: give those feathers a right shaking I can tell you”. “That sounds good” Nick I say, I always like to encourage, and then I ask him what else he does.

“I cut up onions for an hour in the afternoon and it helps me cry, “. “Helps you cry Nick. Is that good” “Oh yes, ” he says, “Get it all out, you can’t hold any secrets with those onions: they get right into the heart of you”

“Bloody hell Nick”, I say, ” So you might say you know your Onions, or at least they know you” and we both have a laugh. We always do me and Nick.

“So it must be pretty quiet then, apart from the crying and all those leaves sneaking around trying not to be spotted. “Not really, “says Nick. “I’ve always got these voices in my head”, “In your head Nick” and I look a bit concerned. “Well the mother in law lives with me and can’t I shut her up” “He moves his eyebrows around again and raises a hand briefly as if the entire history of Europe is in his palm.  He continues, “Get off your arse you lazy lump”. “Is that all you can do?.   “There’s, nothing out there. Get a life, get a job, get anything”, and I just look at her and think my thoughts. “And what are those Nick”

“Well you know my wife died don’t you ” he said, and I just nodded because it wasn’t a good memory. Well I’m all my mother in law has now, and she’s in a wheelchair. What would you do?” he asked. I thought for a bit, and then said, “I’d get her to peel some onions: sounds like she needs a heart to heart” and we both laughed

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About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in character, creative writing, faith, fiction, humour, Life, Relationships, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to You Gotta Laugh

  1. Rosie Amber says:

    Oh Dear, stuck with a mother-in-law!

    Like

  2. I bet there are a few people who rely on a good onion chopping session for emotional release.

    Like

  3. Jane says:

    That was sweet.

    Like

  4. Al says:

    You peeled back a few layers of smiles with that story, ducks.

    Like

  5. CKoepp says:

    It’s all a matter of perspective, isn’t it?

    Like

  6. babs50nfab says:

    Loved the twists in this. Sad, but amusing.
    b

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  7. oleanderia says:

    I’ve nominated you for the Super Sweet Blogging Award.
    My blog http://meltwaterblog.wordpress.com/2013/11/07/super-sweet-blogging-award/

    Like

  8. Rachael Charmley says:

    This is brilliant! Wish I could write like that. At one point I did wonder if Nick was really ‘Old Nick’ but I think I barked up the wrong tree there. Or did I? Counting ducks obviously works wonders for getting the creative juices going… 🙂

    Like

  9. Brilliant.
    you had me at every. single. word.

    Xxxx LOVE to you from Me!

    Like

  10. Toi Thomas says:

    Very touching. People have to deal with whatever they have to deal with in a way that works for them. I liked this. It is emotional and entertaining all at once. Thank you.

    Like

  11. desertrose7 says:

    I cry whenever I have to cook – anything.

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  12. You have combined humour with melancholy Peter; in my opinion that takes talent! And you have oodles of it!

    I hope this comment shows up and you see it. I have been commenting as regular as clockwork. I wouldnt miss your posts for anything! 😊

    Like

  13. Ina says:

    The mother in law from hell 🙂 Enjoyed reading!

    Like

  14. Sharmishtha says:

    some people know how to live, throw them in hell and they will start a campfire story there

    Like

  15. nelle says:

    A snippet of life. Presumed obsolescence is a horrid human societal action, and it creates a billion stories much like this one.

    Like

  16. Lord love a duck and you Ducky, that was awesome good and restorative reading! Thank you 😀

    Like

  17. Another wonderful story – where do you get your characters from, Peter – are they voices in your head? 🙂

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  18. Nick’s a true philosopher. Mind you, if he’s all his mother in law has now, she should be more polite.

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  19. Chris Edgar says:

    Heh, great stuff — it would probably put the psychotherapeutic profession out of business if more people knew about the catharsis that onions offer us for one-hundredth of the price.

    Like

  20. Jen says:

    Sucked me right in

    Like

  21. Onions, eh? I know of other ways to get a man to cry… 😉

    Like

  22. Thank you for visiting my site and putting a like; otherwise, I would likely not have got to know about your wonderful blog. I have read a few of your posts and find you a fine writer. No wonder you have so many followers. Count me in.

    This story about the mother-in-law was very touching. You must be a very sensitive person.

    Like

  23. Great story…sucked me right in. 🙂

    Like

  24. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    “What would you do?” That’s difficult! And stuck in a wheelchair…. Love your onions thing though!

    Like

  25. Pingback: Blogdom Oct. 23-Nov. 20 ’13 | Welcome to the ToiBox

  26. ampbreia says:

    Oh boy! He’s probably going mad in that situation!

    Like

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