The Final Judgement


Not to rub it in, but it hadn’t gone all that well for Simon. Nothing too bad, of course. I wouldn’t like to exaggerate but he always remained, how would you say it, just outside the winner’s circle. Just below the balcony where the celebrated received their applause. Not to any obvious extent. I mean he was dressed, clothed and sheltered and what more could anyone want apart from fame, recognition, applause and a box at the Royal Opera. Ok, skip the box. That would bore the pants off me as well, but it would be  nice to swank about to those awful people who are always crowing about their latest slice of good fortune or hard-won success, depending on your perspective..

Anyway, getting away from the above rambling, which I admit I’ve enjoyed, and returning to the stark facts of the case. Whatever our world view, we see the evidence to support it. So Simon, discretely filled with envy and disappointment, talked of the world as though it would pay the price dearly for ignoring his unique talents, and  Peggy Squire for rejecting his proposal and marrying that guy who had a  vulgar but successful garage in the centre of town and drove a Jaguar. “What was with that mustache anyway”

“Not looking good” he loved to say as he read the newspaper. “What’s that Si”, said his mate Derek, also blessed with just the right cocktail of conceit and bad luck. “The housing markets gone to pot. I can see some serious rioting in the not too distant future. All these people taking out those reckless loans. What did they expect”.

“Like the one they wouldn’t give you Si” quipped Derek, before taking a protective sip of his whisky and ginger. Insight and misfortune make poor bedfellows and drink is one of the few things which can stop them arguing. “I didn’t really want it” said Simon. “I was just testing the market”. “Ye right” said Derek.”

Simon was the assistant manager of the sample room at some paper merchants. In truth, only two people worked in the sample room, and he was the junior of the pair, but assistant manager sounded better than just saying assistant. His brother: recklessly successful, was a stockbroker in New York, who seems to have ducked and dived his way to an apartement over looking Central Park and whose wife looked suspiciously like a super model. Never rubbed it in mind, but some comparisons were inevitable. “You’ve got to love family. They always make you feel so good about yourself”, he thought darkly.

To distract himself from the consequences of his reflections he got his lottery ticket out and checked the numbers on his clever phone thing. He had some trouble making any sense of them. All his numbers seemed to be there. He kept looking and then his hand was shaking so much he couldn’t get the bloody things to stay still . There was only one winner the site told him calmly, and he was now a multi-millionaire.

He’d gone a bit pale, and Derek asked him if he was Ok. “Ye, I’m fine ” he said finishing his drink. Already he was gathering himself to collect his winnings. First things first. He was going to buy that restaurant beside Mr Swanky Pants garage, and get himself a Bentley. It was about time that Peggy learnt she had made the biggest mistake of her life when she saddled herself with that loser instead of him. Perhaps he’d grow a mustache.

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About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in character, community, creative writing, Fiction, humour, Life, life2, Relationships, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to The Final Judgement

  1. catterel says:

    Wonderful! “Insight and misfortune make poor bedfellows” is great. Thanks for the morning chuckle!

    Like

  2. Oh Youve done it again!!!

    What a fab start to my day! You are an amazing writer! And I know that makes me sound like a creep but I dont care! You are. 🙂

    “insight and misfortune make poor bedfellows…..” what a terrific line and I can confirm this to be one hundred per cent true! The drink certainly does stop them arguing! ! The answer to everything, I don’t think! Not anymore thank God!

    This story brought a huge smile to my face andI could just picture it as a mini drama on TV!! Such true to life characters!
    Brilliant 🙂

    Like

  3. renxkyoko says:

    Wow ! Eat your heart out, Peggy. Teeheee * loving the story*

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  4. Kirri White says:

    I really want to know where you get your characters from! Do you conjure them up in your imagination, or are they bits and pieces from personalities you know?

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  5. winsomebella says:

    I echo Kirri’s question….you have quite a knack for inventing interesting characters, developing them to a T and then twisting a very fine tale :-).

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  6. Barbara says:

    I have to echo the question…how do you come up with these characters? I can’t wait to read about what happens with the winnings…I doubt it will be caviar and roses!
    Great character development Peter!!
    b

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  7. Ina says:

    🙂 This was fun reading, very good story!

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  8. You are some kind of a roll, Peter! Mr. Swanky Pants. 🙂 Now you’re sounding like me! This is excellent stuff. Really it is.

    Like

  9. Al says:

    I’ve a good mind to threaten to drop your blog unless you promise me you are working on a book. You’ve denied the literary world your talent for long enough!

    Having said that, I must go out right now and buy a lottery. I’ve know a Peggy or two in my life also.

    Like

  10. Purely.. Kay says:

    I loved reading this.. I wish it was me though lol. I wish i won the lottery. This was so fun to read my friend

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  11. An important part of winning the lottery, which would be faberooni, is buying a ticket. I must do that some time !

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  12. You are such a great storyteller! … within a few words you draw the reader into the scene and the lives and personalities of the characters. This is ability to engage a reader from the start and create a short short story so effectively reminds me of those TV vignettes of Hitchcock – he ( and his writers) created more engaging stories and characters in a half-hour than some movies do in two hours! And some great lines: just to name a few ‘recklessly successful’ and ‘suspiciously like a super model’!

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  13. How lovely to be back in your world! I am enjoying catching up with my favourite bloggers, now that I am back home and winding up to full working days. As soon as I started to read this I had a strong sense of knowing where I am – feeling as though I was in the usual, dependable creative hands. The line about Derek being blessed with just the right cocktail of conceit and bad luck, is what I love about your work – your way of putting things. It’s good to be back!

    Like

  14. Good to see you back. I hope the trip was nourishing and I look forward to reading about it

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  15. When I grow up, I want to write as well as you do! Fine work once again, loved it. 🙂

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  16. Jen says:

    I echo the above comments. Character development is NOT easy — it’s a natural talent. Of course, one that may be practiced and honed, but yours seems to come naturally.

    Like

  17. ElizOF says:

    Yeah, I can relate. I’m waiting for my ship to sail in too. 🙂

    Like

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