The Temporary Bachelor

Having been living on my own for the past week things have fallen into a bit of a pattern. Left to yourself you return to your natural shape. Given our relationship, my natural shape isn’t all that different to my shape when “her in doors” is on the premises but one thing stands out. Well two actually but we’ll start with one. Meals are something that have to be thought about, otherwise you lose an unatural amount of weight. I am happy to consider almost anything as an evening meal as long as it can be eaten on toast, or occasionally between toasts.

The other evening I sat there fiddling with the Blogosphere and watching something on the discovery channel when Mr Stomach sent a message up to head office suggesting that supplies would be appreciated within the next ten minutes. No one likes to be rushed but I already had a contingency plan and before you could say “Gordon Ramsey” two pieces of bread where in the toaster, turned to the max and a small splash of oil went in the pan ready to receive one egg. In the world of fine dining, timing is everything. For the record, you want your egg to be just right and hot when you eat it.  Timing the toast, and ensuring it is warm at the same time as the egg is hot takes a little planning. Oh no, in this high pressure catering environment there is no time for idle chatter. Concentration is everything.

Anyway, I digress. Within five minutes my toasted egg sandwich, with a smearing of brown sauce, was on the plate and ready to be savoured. I took a bite, wobbled a bit and then moved at a fairly rapid pace somewhere towards heaven. The egg was just right, and there was a softness in the yoke, but not enough to threaten my shirt when it exploded. A second bite confirmed my opinion of the first and I settled down for a pleasant period in paradise.

Outside was a nice river view, with the boat houses on the opposite river bank.  A variety of birds were clearing their throats in nearby trees and all seemed well with the world. Sadly nothing lasts forever, and fairly soon that sandwich was gone.  After you finish a great meal, cooked in one of the countries finest kitchens, there is a period of contemplation, and even a whiff of grief that the experience is now over. I lingered in that moment for a short period until a solution hit me: make another egg sandwich. And I did. I made another one and enjoyed it crunch by crunch and by the end I received a message from the stomach department saying, “Pleasantly full: further supplies unnecessary” . That’s good enough for me. I sat down to read my book and contemplate the good life.

Tomorrow I am going to explore the world of tuna. On toast of course. What other way is there?  With a small smearing of sweet chilli sauce to once more infiltrate that sense of fine dining into the occasion . Tuna on toast can be an unforgettable experience. All in all. I am living pretty high on the hog here. As for the tea bags I am now almost a tea bag millionaire having invested in the tea bag futures market at the local shop yesterday.

When my good lady returns it will be more than lovely to see her but the world of fine dining on toast will become a memory. When I started this post I said there I said there were two things that really stand out. So powerful has the memory of my egg sandwich been that I can’t remember what the second one was. Thats what happens to you when you glimpse paradise.


About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in cooking, creative writing, Life, life2, Relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to The Temporary Bachelor

  1. Caroline says:

    CD – I am in awe of your ability to create a scenario so clearly that I could even savour the egg sandwich, and sit and admire the river view whilst eating it.


  2. Myra's voice. says:

    I’ve never wanted an egg sandwich so bad “) Yummy post.


  3. swells says:

    Absolutley loved this post. Absolutely love egg sandwiches. Inspired by you am off to make one…or two
    for myself right now.


  4. I love the visual of an egg sandwich threatening your shirt. Wonderfully worded, Peter. Enjoy your continued culinary adventures! 😉


  5. Lafemmeroar says:

    Enjoy your temporary bachelorhood. Savor these moments … they won’t last 🙂 I just love the way you write about your food …


  6. barbara says:

    I love a good egg sandwich! You’ve made me hungry.

    Who knows, your partner might enjoy taking a night away from cooking and have you repeat this amazing gourmet meal! Never hurts to ask.


  7. Brilliant, descriptive writing – humour and detail that invite us into your kitchen. Unfortunately I have the ‘flu and tonsillitis so scratchy toast is OUT right now, but I shall read back over your post and try make the perfect egg on toast when I am better 🙂


  8. redheadmouth says:

    Egg sandwiches are my go-to meal!! Always a treat.


  9. You are realy going to town with all the fine cooking, when the ” lady ” gets back, tell her to put her feet up and cook her something 🙂


  10. nelle says:

    Har… I[‘m picturing Monty Python tackling toast instead of spam… glad you indulged your craving.


  11. Aurora, HSP says:

    Your sublime pleasures found in the simplest things bring Thomas Moore’s works to mind, especially Care of the Soul where he talks about such things. Thanks for taking care of our souls while taking care of your own, nicely done 🙂


  12. Gordon Ramsay would be pleased of your creation of the perfect egg sandwich! I think you should attempt scallops next and really impress him!


  13. Texasjune says:

    You are one cool dude!!


  14. Debbie says:

    Brilliant! 😀
    Sadly, I fix an egg sandwich almost every night and fail to savor. I simply do it because it is quick and the clean up is simple. I now have to rethink my eggs.


  15. Tilly Bud says:

    Try this: tuna, grated cheese, slice of tomato on toast; pop under the grill until cheese has melted. Yummy. Even nicer on potato waffles.


  16. Pat says:

    You paint an image like no other. Delightful post. Have you tried peanut butter and banana on toast?


  17. ElizOF says:

    That was funny! And I kept hoping you’d have another one (toast and egg)… which you did. Kudos. 🙂


  18. You said that effectively.


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