Knowing Too Much About You

I have a large selection of sisters. Someone in the planning department forgot to split the children more equally between girls and boys and there you have it: some I am closer to than others, which is the normal procedure. Some, like Haley’s comet pass within sight of a telescope every now and then at family weddings and funerals: well most of them to be honest, but one of them does more regular work and can be described as a sister on active duty. That is phone calls are not irregular and a visit unattached to some matter of business may occur.

I spoke to her on the phone yesterday talking about world events, catering strategies and finally an update on my foot which, until recently, had been paying host to an unpleasant attack of gout. This introduced me to the new sport of limping, stumbling and occasionally wincing. Before you start expressing too much sympathy it’s gone: vanished, no longer in residence. I told her that it had left town: she was pleased.

I recounted my experiences with doctors over this latest inconvenience. Like many men I don’t tend to go to the doctors that much, preferring to fall apart without any meddling from outside bodies. Very rarely, to date at least, I have not been troubled enough to get to know my medical backup on first name terms. Don’t think my heart does not go out to people who are not as lucky as me in this regard because it does: health is the basis for a happy life, along with love and catering obviously.

Because we moved recently I visited doctor A first. Walking in I told him I had gout. “Ok”, he said and wrote me a prescription for some pills. I was a bit surprised. He didn’t ask me why I thought it was gout, suggest a blood test or do anything apart from hand me the prescription. Never mind I drove to the chemist, took the pills and waited for a miracle. I’m still waiting: they didn’t really work. So a few weeks later we moved everything to our new home including my gouty foot. By nature I’m an affectionate individual but even I was growing tired of the gouts company and decided to go to another doctor near our new place. I walked in, and he was very pleasant.

“I’ve got gout” I said. I told him I’d been to a previous doctor and he’s given me some pills but they didn’t seem to have worked. He nodded in the sage manner of one who has endured years of studies. “We’ll try you on something different” he said and wrote out another prescription. I said “Are we running to blood tests so we can check my levels of uric acid”. “Yes” he said. When the gouts gone we’ll start on the blood tests. He wrote me out a slip of paper so I coud have a blood test and off I went.

In time, through boredom or an appointment somewhere else the gout left me and I was back to my nimble best. Must phone for that blood test thing I said, looking at my little authorisation slip. Anyway one thing led to another and I never got round to it. It no longer seemed urgent and got lost in new priorities like buying sausages and operating the kettle. So back to my sister. I told her the gout had done a runner and about the doctor arranging a blood test. “What were the results of the tests” she asked. I told them I hadn’t got round to them what with reading all these cook books and everything. “you’re  mad” she said. That’s the problem with family: they know too much about you.

About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in creative writing, Health, Life, Relationships and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Knowing Too Much About You

  1. Lenore Diane says:

    Ah yes … our siblings know so much. (P.S. Go get the blood test.)


  2. Caroline says:

    OH CD I just love the way you put things. My brothers pass like Haley’s comet and only circle near on matters of business!



  3. Tipsy Lucy says:

    That’s funny. I wouldn’t have gone for the blood test either. Seems pointless since the gout is gone. Doctors. humph.


  4. Big Al says:

    I never had a sister. Somehow, I think that is a large gap in the whole that is my life. My sister-in-law has largely made up for that, being a funny, upbeat and straight to the point friend to me.

    Glad you’re over the gout episode. Not a pleasant pastime.


  5. I love your first paragraph especially – it exactly captures how many families operate. A lovely description, particularly the references to the ‘planning department’, Haley’s Comet, and a sister on ‘active duty’. I like the sausage-buying priority too.


  6. Family always knows.. I mean they just do. They’re the only collection of people that has been around you longer then your own existence lol. They just know and there is no reason for you to hide anything from them.. unless you’re good at hiding stuff from them lol. I had to learn. But I wouldn’t trade my family in for the world. and I’m glad you’re doing well


  7. barbara says:

    Amusing as always Peter. But, you really should get the blood test.


  8. backonmyown says:

    LOL. I have three sisters. None on active duty.

    As to the doctors–you made their work too easy for them, you gave them a diagnosis. All they had to do was push a pen. Next time don’t tell them what’s wrong. Just tell them your foot hurts like hell and you can hardly walk. Make ’em work. 🙂


  9. Ina says:

    I like this story, it must be great to have so many siblings, as I have none. I did have gout however, same day as the earthquake in Japan in Spring happend, and it hurted really bad, I take allopurinol for it to reduce urine acid. It works very well. Next time you get an attack I hope for you they give you the right meds! 🙂


  10. I love the way you wrap up the whole story in such an elegant way at the very end–often with one perfectly worded sentence. Brilliant!


  11. says:

    Good to see you are taking care of yourself. I think it’s funny that you tell the doctor what you have. Isn’t that their job? Just wondering. I suppose we do know what we have in the end.
    1. Your comment on my blog brought tears to my eyes. It’s still an open wound but I’m gathering courage day by day.
    2. I think the name of your book is fantastic. Sometimes I just want to get older, and stop STRUGGLING. I feel like I’m swimming upstreams at times.
    3. It looks like you are enjoying a little bit of space. I’ve always thought that a good relationshiop is like two pillars holding up a house. A little space in the middle. Good thing.

    Happy weekend.


  12. Lafemmeroar says:

    I know a handful of people with gout and it does come and go. Black Cherry juice is a good thing to drink to help prevent and lessen the occurrence of gout.

    And you’re right siblings if you’re close to them will know too much about you and if they’re married–so will their spouse. I agree with Lorna–brilliant ending. 🙂


  13. Dawne Webber says:

    So glad to hear your gout cleared up! You have such a gift for making things that seem mundane interesting. I was so engrossed in catching up on your last three posts, I was late picking up the kids from art class. Good thing the teacher is so nice, she didn’t mind.


  14. Kirri White says:

    I’m glad you have a sister who is looking out for you…Have to ask…what is gout? I guess I could google it but I’m betting your descriptive will be far more illuminating 🙂


  15. —Ducky,
    You know every time she talks to you, she will be asking if you went in for the test yet…
    Woudn’t it be easier to just go in and get it over with? Xx


    • This is the odd thing. I know you’re right. It is madness not to have got it done, but somehow I never seem to get round to it and luckily she has so much stuff flitting round her head that she forgets to ask. I reallt will try though.


  16. I agree you should just get a test done. Loved the post!


  17. ElizOF says:

    I don’t want to be a nag as I’m not your sister… but do get the tests done. You never know… 😉
    Finally catching up on posts and comments. TY! 🙂


  18. Myra's voice. says:

    Ain’t that the truth?… Family knows way to much. Hey, I’m sure glad gout stopped taking up residence in your foot! “)

    Continued good health.


  19. nelle says:

    …and once in a while, they are right. 🙂


  20. scrambled7 says:

    Our siblings always know just a little bit too much!
    Wonderful post, like always 🙂


  21. Beth says:

    That’s so funny… the sibling part, not the gout part. My mom has your problem in reverse… six brothers and no sisters. God showed mercy on me (it had to be on me because I’m the eldest). I have one sister and two brothers. We’re split fifty-fifty. But that doesn’t mean we’re not all up in each other’s business. We are. And as you’ve read on my blog, there’s all sorts of medical things to share in my family. 🙂

    I’m glad to hear the gout packed up and moved away. Muh better.


  22. Very true! We can never escape our siblings knowledge of us 🙂


  23. This is one I understand I have 5 sisters and one is my identical twin. Wow, your sisters are lucky of have you 🙂


  24. Julie says:

    Sounds like a delightful case of “physician, heal thyself”. Congrats on the passing of your gouty acquaintance.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s