I Have the Heart of a Youngster

I love to hear new music so do they. I love to get into scrapes, but now tend to be too sensible. I have a reckless streak, but now circled with caution. I love the thrill of adventure but am now live by routine. So in fact I do not have the heart of a youngster, but I love the heart they do have.

I love the idea of wilderness and eating what you find, of braving the elements and feeling the rain or sea lash against your face, but lost in bills and worries of the day compensate myself with strolls by the river and feeding ducks. I love to run and jump, but currently have a  limp. I love all kinds of things, but must manage with what I’ve got.

I love the world of opportunity free from chains but live in a world  of commitments and responsibilities. So perhaps I have a heart, but not exactly the heart of a youngster. There are compensations beyond measure. My family and friendships forged through many years. The memories of adventures that I’ve had. Reasonable health so I can enjoy the day

In some ways I live vicariously through my children. All those with grown children do. As a young man  I lived with possibility and potential. Now I live with consequences and carefully crafted opportunity. In the battle of life I am no longer in the first wave, charging at the obstacles before us, but on the hill directing events or shouting ignored advice which is eaten by the wind. The more we know, the less we are listened to, or so it seems

There are many people I would love to help but I have problems helping myself.

So here I am, lost in contradictions just like youth. Struggling against the limitations imposed on me by circumstance and my own characteristics. Frustrated but alive I find myself pushing against walls. Different walls but still the same sense of pushing. I have a heart.

About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in childhood, creative writing, Environment, Health, Life, life2, recreation, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to I Have the Heart of a Youngster

  1. Big Al says:

    I certainly understand this. The paradox of desire vs. ability is a tough one. I take refuge in that chaste prose “The Desiderata” which, among other useful advice, says: “Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.” But that doesn’t mean it can’t still reside in our heart.

    Lovely post.


  2. backonmyown says:

    As I was reading this I found myself saying, “me too, me too.” Need I say more?


  3. swells says:

    Beautifully wirtten…I saw someone rollerblading in the park today and suffered a momentary
    yearning for lost youth as I overtook them at what I vainly hoped was an impressive speed on
    my fold up bike. I used to roller blade for miles – but a cranky knee and replacement hip
    have sadly made it a pleasure of the past – but the bike is a great compensation. I think that
    is the main thing – to try and ensure that the restrictions of age do not close all doors.


  4. Barbara says:

    I hear you. Some days I feel like I’m moving into this new phase of life kicking and screaming when I should be accepting. Then I think if I accepted it as limiting I may as well just check out altogether. Perhaps we can make a difference with our words rather than actions now.


  5. nelle says:

    Pushing against walls is a good thing, a sign of vitality of wishing to change what we see as not quite right. We have the temperance to know we too ignored advice passed to us by those other, and perhaps there is value in the experience of trial and error, but so too is there in wishing others not suffer the wounds of mistake as have we.

    I like your post, lots.


  6. You write so well about the human experience because you are an astute observer of how pardoxical life is. Most people are reflective enough to notice the irony we know as “life.”

    Great piece!


  7. The T says:

    coming from the utlimate child, i learn to appreciate all viewpoints..sometimes i’m slow about how i change my views…however your words hit the mark for me…i remain a child…wide eyed to life and the fun and dangerous bits in front of me to toy with… I try to never turn off the buttons that i love to push…once i feel too old to push them, i’ll turn all of them off…i’ll know when the time will happen…I’ll be cold…and buried… but i’ll still be somewhere smiling and enjoying the afterlife…ducks i hope i’ll see you there…



  8. Judith says:

    Love your comments on life through your eyes. I watch as my children and grandchildren snow ski and water ski and it seems no time at all since I was doing these things. 🙂


  9. Julie says:

    You definitely have a heart. Maybe you have some of your limitations — like many of us — just because you have, one way or another, decided to. I hear you in your writing dying to break out of something or into something. Please don’t use age or responsibilities or a limp as a reason not to. I wonder what would happen if you wrote a story about a gentleman such as yourself deciding to “go for it” in some area of his life and then having it happen.


  10. enermazing says:

    You love life – there’s no age limit to that 😉

    Sure, for physical and other reasons we may not be able to do what we used to enjoy. But there are so many other things instead which we could not have done before, or wouldn’t even have wanted to because we weren’t in a position to realise their value – for instance the time to do what we want and the flexibility to go with OUR schedule or NO schedule, rather than arrange our life around that of others or being told what to do. Time to pause during the day, to stop, look and listen for beauty, to follow a whim, to change our routine, to go with an opportunity just because we can.

    There’s a time for everything. Letting go of the Can’t Any More opens the door for What’s On Offer Now 🙂

    Have a lovely day!


  11. Bee Bee says:

    I have the heart of an old person …


  12. ElizOF says:

    I’m with you on that one Peter… Living vicariously through the kids and then pushing again my own limitations; both real and imaginary walls.. Then we press on. Loved this post 🙂


  13. Caroline says:

    never give up pushing! My father – who amongst other things was a flying instructor – taught a woman of 80 to glide – and she went solo – which was her goal!

    Enjoy the journey – and that means give everything a go!!


    • says:

      What an inspirational man. I bet you realize how lucky you are for having such a guide. Thanks for sharing him with us. Maybe that will be my next goal. I don’t like extreme sports by any means, although I’ve always wanted to fly a big machine.



  14. We should always stay young at heart, no matter how old we get. Sometimes me and my mom like the same music lol.. sometimes. She says I make her young and I say she makes me wise 🙂


  15. Wonderful post. Funny in a way…hopeful and serene in another…and too damn realisitc overall.
    It reminds me of something I say all the time ….”Age is too high a price to pay for maturity”
    I’m enjoying your posts.


    • says:

      Or as they say, ‘the problem with youth is it’s waisted on the young!’ 🙂


      • Lady E says:

        LFBA and miss heart, I love your say !
        Counting ducks, nice post. As I am fast approaching middle age, I can feel my body slowly changing, and I wonder about the next stretch, about when it starts going downhill. I still feel the same as when I was young, I still want to kite surf, backpack and do exciting stuff… In truth, I’m a I’m a little afraid of aging at times x


      • I know how you feel. I am in the same position: hence the post. It;s still my dream to sail across the Atlantic or drive from London to Moscow or India. I really love adventure and would leap at the chance to experience some again


  16. I keep thinking about this…It sometimes feels like a tear between maturity and youth! Wouldn’t it be great just to seize the day and tell everyone else to bugger off!


  17. Shonnie says:

    You sound as though you are teatering on the edge of the secret knowledge of how one can live in both worlds. Hehe … or that is what it made me think of … Probably because I am ever challenged to try something new, take a new adventure, or start a new venture. It is very possible that I never truly grew up inside. I hope that part of me burns brightly until my end … no regrets. 😀


  18. scrambled7 says:

    Always stay young!
    Your posts are beautiful, the way you look at life is really inspirational. 🙂


  19. suzicate says:

    I think many of us would like to do much more than we do but are held back by time restraints or money or health…


  20. Lady E says:

    Ooh, yes, driving to India, that sounds exciting! An old dream of mine is to take the children around the world for a year with a camper van…
    Here’s to our dreams coming true! xx


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