Vanishing Profiles

We’ve all seen it. That moment without explanation or announcement, when someone we follow on a pretty much daily basis vanished suddenly from sight and the post you saw some days or weeks ago seems to be their final utterance. Some of these people have drawn you into their lives till you can almost feel yourself ducking and weaving with them before the blows of a capricious fate or circumstance.

Being me I get drawn into the drama of their existence and am left suspended and wondering what happened to them: was it good or bad. almost always they have left a comment on your Blog so an email address is available, but do you write to them and ask is everything Ok. That easy intimacy we share in Blogsville cannot be taken at face value so, more often than not I presume the answer is no.

So it is in our terrestrial lives when time and circumstance draw us away from those who helped fill our day with chatter or concerns only to fade as new priorities swept them from our orbit. The sharing of daily news becomes a weekly update then a Christmas card. New faces replace old so though the volume of conversation may remain the same the identity behind the voices change. In many ways our sense of sharing intimacies may alter but they are now shared with different people. That uncertainty which marks the experience of contemporary society is fueled in part by these shifting social sands.

Some of live and die in one locality so this phenomenon is less pronouced but many move for work or marriage or  other circumstance, making fresh roots and connections as they go.

I have moved several times in my life , and always miss the friendships that I had, kept alive by regular social meets and a calendar of shared social events. Moving away you try and stay in touch.” It’s racing day quite soon” they let you know, or “guess who we met again the other night” and you cling on still wanting to be involved but time and pressure gradually leave their mark  till they seem as echoes in some vault where memory dwells and nothing seems quite real.

An event or film may raise their face before you once again, and make you wonder how they are. Time and distance leave their mark, but with reflections on those things you shared, you embalm their precious memory.


About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in blog, childhood, community, creative writing, Environment, Life, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Vanishing Profiles

  1. ElizOF says:

    Yes, I wonder about that too… I’ve seen some of my earliest blog buddies simply disappear. It is jarring and then you wonder; what really happened to them?
    Hopefully, we wish they merely had a change of heart to pursue greener pastures. Ideally, we wish they were not paid a visit by the grim reaper. TY! 🙂


  2. Caroline says:

    I too wonder what happens to some of my readers. Some appear to be still subscribed – but they don’t visit. Some disappear for months only to suddenly re-appear when some surreal event catapults them back to their blog and like buses – 3 posts appear at once on their blog and they chirply reappear on mine with their wit and wisdom – which I cherish. And then I’m glad I held off from intruding in their real world!


  3. “Embalm their precious memory.” That’s is powerful writing, Sir!

    I, too, have gotten quite close to my blogger friends in this short time I’ve been on WordPress. I feel safe and comfortable enough to share myself with all of you. When someone fades away, I feel a loss as real as when a friend from my non-cyber life does.

    Writing is an intimate act. Whether our posts are serious or humorous, they reveal so much about us. How can we not bond with those we follow faithfully?

    I’m not going anywhere in the foreseeable future and I hope you aren’t either!


  4. nelle says:

    We are all sort of passing through in life, meeting people, their lives touching ours and ours theirs, sort of like eddies in a stream, until the current sweeps us forward to new encounters. People come and go from our lives for a reason. Think of why we remember, what we’ve taken away from that time of interaction. Lessons learned, comfort given, situations faced.

    Fate is an ambiguous thing, and it means different things to different people. Whether it is any of the things we perceive it to be and not be, who knows, but there are times it feels like a player. A site map of my life from 1998 onward would reveal these nodal connects, along with the horrifics I created, endured, and move past. I’d not be standing but for the people who touched my life along the way, and the fondness I feel for them will remain for certain until my last breath. After that, it is all up to the vagaries of faith.


  5. Barbara says:

    I can’t honestly say I’ve had that experience in the blogosphere. Knowing how important each and every connection is I’m pretty sure I would remember.
    Moving I know a lot about! I have to say the friends who mean the most are still my friends even though there are many, many miles between us now. I love how social media has made that even easier.
    What a wonderful age we live in!
    You, my friend, better not fade away!


  6. backonmyown says:

    I, too, have wondered what protocol to follow when someone just seems to disappear. I agree with your assessment that we probably shouldn’t pursue them.

    And I agree with Barbara. I hope you don’t fade away.


  7. Big Al says:

    You hit the nail on the head. Memories are the only thing of true permanence and are to be highly prized. That’s why Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia are so cruel. My brother died of early onset Alzheimer’s. The last time I saw him before he passed, I mentioned an amusing incident that we had experienced with our grandfather as boys. His look of puzzlement melted away and a smile come over his face. That memory provided one of his last treasured moments.


  8. scrambled7 says:

    I guess this happens to all of us, I’ve experienced it, too.
    Regular followers suddenly disappearing.
    But the new readers are fun too.
    And I understand what it’s like to move. I’ve moved a lot too, and it’s always hard not to miss the old friends. We still keep in touch, but it’s never the same.


  9. I always wonder how my old friends are int he neighborhood in which I moved from. But I believe everyone comes into your life for a specific reason, a time, and a season. And every time we learn something profound from that experience.


  10. Miss Emm says:

    i am guilty! But in all honesty, sometimes what I need to do is walk away without looking back. And yes you get drawn into people’s lives. As if you are watching a silent movie but you know the lines.


  11. Sometimes you are drawn into peoples lives and they abruptly leave the blogosphere…It is slightly jarring and you are left wondering. At times, people need to take a break, if you are curious to their whereabouts I don’t think it is odd to send an email. They might even appreciate that you took the time to care. I think it would be odd to abruptly leave without notice or reason. Sigh! But then again everyone is different..

    I also read a statistic that most bloggers quit after three months. So kudos to all of us who make it past the 3 month itch 🙂


  12. I do visit a lot of blogs i’m subscribed to and others, but i do not always comment, maybe i should.

    I think everyone has people who have disappered i have a few but they may be back.


  13. Shonnie says:

    There was a season in our lives when we moved 9 times in 9 years. This made for friends scattered all across the South Eastern US. A little part of me died each time we left. People are truly hard to replace. They are each so individually beautiful. I have enjoyed FB for the ability to reconnect with so many left behind loved ones, that distance had made our connection grow dim.

    I do wonder when they disappear where they have gone. I wonder if they realize the hole they leave behind. I pray that they move on to dance with other partners for a happy dance. 😀


  14. Jillsy Girl says:

    The blogosphere is a somewhat a mirror of real life just without the faces. People connecting sometimes for hours, others for days or months and in rare occasions for life. Some are more memorable than others for whatever the reason, and therefore; I say if you have felt a connection strong enough to warrant an email, then you should go for it!


  15. Lady E says:

    As someone who has moved around quite a lot, including moving countries, I know what you mean about the wrenching experience of leaving your friends behind, all these people who had been close all these years. It feels a bit like a part of your life gets amputated. Then the connections gradually fade over time, they are replaced by new ones, but I still miss the continuity and often live with the impression that my life has been a succession of discrete, almost disconnected lives if that makes sense…
    No experience of vanishing bloggers yet, but depending on how close I feel to them, I may drop an email to check, after all, it would be a rather nice expression of concern.


  16. The T says:

    Ducks, I am that person….I am the one who disappears without notice… I’ve restarted my life a lot…and when I have, I’ve simply up and moved, or I’ve left no notice and halted all contact….it is sometimes a needed event… it can be cathartic…freeing… it has a cost…there are people who love you that always wonder what happened to the man I loved… sure it sucks, but in the end you want the best for everyone including yourself.



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