As I go about my day, apart from work and responsibility, I find myself airing and discussing observations and ideas with myself. Sadly, on many occasions my thoughts are not of a practical nature. At regular intervals some part of my body might send a message up to mission control asking if there is any way we can get something to eat, or some such question, and I move to deal with the request if I can. More often someone outside my little orbit asks me to do something, and I have to suspend my ruminations to either deal with their demand or make a move to ignore it: both are tiresome.
Even worse, sometimes people are after me for something which I cannot give and I’m reduced to hopelessly evasive conduct in the hope that they tire of chasing me. Quite often something happens to someone else or a person whom I love which means I have to suspend all thoughts of myself and pitch in and see if I can make a difference. I don’t mind that. Caring about others is a pleasure not a burden. It is their difficulties which tire you and not their existence.
Blogging is the result of these ruminations. I write mainly to refine the conversation I am having with myself. If I’m lucky some people, and some of those on a regular basis, step in and add a comment which helps me refine my ideas, or even more astoundingly, leave me saying to myself, “No that isn’t what I meant at all” . More people tease out meanings I never realised I had and, of course the whole process is delightful and nourishing. The Albanian is particularly loyal and can suggest that I’m talking nonsense or shouldn’t even have an opinion until I have learnt to dress properly. That he should suspend marshalling his goats to engage me in debate is a wonderful tribute to his passion and appetite for lost causes.
Most of my reflections are on human conduct and how our circumstances affect the way our opinions will be received or dealt with. If the CEO of a major company sends out an urgent memo saying “Crispy cream doughnuts are the most nutritious food and nothing else will be available in the canteen from now on ” his loyal workforce will salute his wisdom, and send him memos telling him “I was waiting for someone to be brave enough to say that. You are so wise and all-knowing. Can I have a promotion?”. If a junior in the marketing department says much the same thing people just shake their heads and tell him he is a fool and has already been overpromoted.
More than anything I thank God and the fates that I am free to think and day-dream as I wish. For many people,in large parts of our planet the freedom to daydream and discuss our ideas is a luxury almost beyond imagination, so pressing are the needs for day to day survival, or the oppressive nature of the governance under which they live. People in Libya are waking up to the possibility that they might once more be able to do this too, after forty plus years of brutality and suppression: this is what I am thinking today. Their celebrations are a rare cause for unambiguous rejoicing whatever position you find yourself in life.