Howling at the Moon continued


My last post, which had this name ended up giving the wrong impression of where I stood. I don’t mean that writing about yourself and sharing your thoughts and troubles is a waste of time. Far from it. What I do mean is this. Sometimes , by visiting Blogs over a period of time you feel a warmth somewhere akin to friendship for those who also visit you on a regular basis. You read their blogs and in them you can discover something which gives your heart a wrench. Normally if friends have a difficult time I am one of the first to express my sympathy and see if I can give any practical help or advice.

In Blogland, in the main, and certainly for the short time I have been part of it, much as I can feel a sympathy for someone’s heartache or predicament I feel there is very little I can do about. I might write them a personal email to the address but even then I am aware I may be invading their privacy and end up signing my heartfelt expression of sympathy or support with a cautious, “Best wishes” or “Yours sincerely” which somehow indicates that we can feel for each other but I cannot presume that means I can count you among my friends. Can I converse freely and express admiration or affection without stepping over boundaries. What I was trying to say was not the expression of any heartache was just howling at the moon but that I wish could do more to help. I was working on the post when I hit “Publish” instead of “Save Draught” meaning the thoughts went out to my subscribers before I had managed to get them properly organised. Such is my technical ability I am always glad that I am not in charge of the countries nuclear deterrent. Apologies for any misunderstanding

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About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
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14 Responses to Howling at the Moon continued

  1. Caroline says:

    None taken!
    xxx (rather than ‘best wishes!’)

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  2. eof737 says:

    No apology needed as we all struggle with our thoughts and have posted a few that needed Part 2… TY Chris as this does clarify what you were trying to say. Now let’s go howl! 🙂

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  3. The T says:

    I’ve done this myself and you should have seen my raw thoughts without an edit…wow…abrasive, unfiltered… needless to say it was a mess and I really confused a couple of people, but at the end of the day, they knew it was a raw product and i had no idea it was out in the “live” system…once I went in to edit and publish it, well it already had 10 comments…LMAO…life has a way of being messy and it also has a way of sorting itself out.

    T.

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  4. backonmyown says:

    I have the advantage of being several hours behind you so I read both posts realizing you had added something. I thought the first one was perfectly rendered. And I agree with you totally.

    I, too, have hit publish when I didn’t mean to so I’m chuckling about that.

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  5. Julie says:

    “In Blogland, in the main, and certainly for the short time I have been part of it, much as I can feel a sympathy for someone’s heartache or predicament I feel there is very little I can do about.” CD, I can tell you with full confidence and from personal experience in being in direct communication with you, that that is not true at all. You profoundly impact my life. What you wrote about the golden age lady who began to come alive again made me think about others who have died inside and made me think about my own aging. Then I began to think that if she could turn around like that, we could too. It gave me hope and that transferred to how I view and show up in the world. That’s just one example.
    I thought your original post was perfect as it was. I also thought you were about to get yourself into some trouble. Regardless of how I took what you said initially, it was immediately overridden with my truth, which is that you, in the few and choice words you have sent my way, have made a deep impact on my life. After I read what you write, whether it is a post of yours or communication to me, it continues to resonate throughout my days and I continuously reflect and process on it. Perhaps we as humans get ourselves into trouble trying to label things and people, such as saying whether or not our blog world is comprised of true friends. When you write, CD, you do so with you soul. There was one time in particular when you wrote to me and I felt pity from you — but what I felt much deeper from you was an anguished compassion and true caring that I don’t believe can be faked. And it touched me deeply. And I felt moved and connected. That kind of thing nurtures and heals a person from within in places where maybe nothing else could. There is a life in each blogger world. It’s as real and impactful as we allow it to be.

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    • Thankyou Julie. It’s really that I am often moved by the thoughts and difficulties of others and hate that I can do so little to help them. Your words are encouraging because they underline that the feedback we get can make a difference. Also I hate it when people pretend to care but are just going through the motions. Hence the bit about Air Hostess’s. Mind you, it’s not their fault. It’s more the corporate mentality they have to work with. But thats another Blog

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  6. says:

    I agree with what Julie said again! No apoligies needed on my part at all!

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  7. Big Al says:

    I guess you could say sympathy is just a natural part of the human condition. It assuages our own feeling of inadequacy to say “sorry” or “I’m thinking about you”. We would never say something like “I don’t care” because the truth is, we do care. Whether or not we can do something about it is another question.

    As for “feigned” cordiality, the way I see it the air hostess does have a personal stake in smiling and saying hope you enjoyed the flight. She wants to be recognized as a good and valued employee. It’s also personal to the passenger because it’s a momentary (and pleasant) connection with another human being, whatever the reason. We crave human interaction and if the only way we can get it is to say “have a nice day”, so be it.

    The people I have met in the blogosphere are my friends in a way. They have either validated or helped me reevaluate my position on many of life’s issues. To my way of thinking, the fact that we are detached from personal contact encourages us to be more genuine. We don’t HAVE to make the comments, we just do.

    Anyway, don’t be too apologetic for saying what you feel. Your blogs are interesting, extremely well written and get our minds engaged. Why else would we be reading them? I count you as one of those “cyber” friends.

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    • The sad point is I was trying to say the opposite of what I did say. There is no reason or value to be insincere in Blogland. If I comment on peoples Blogs it’s because I’m moved by the point they make, the quality of their perception or life. Gradually, in my time here I have met people who I would love to chew the cud with, sink a few and shoot the breeze with. You are what I consider a “cyber friend” as well. If you, or anyone else I talk with wander over to this side of the pond, you could call on me for a cup of tea or something stronger depending on the hour.

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  8. Barbara says:

    I’ve read a few blogs recently that touch on the relationships online vs. in real life subject. I understand what you’re getting at with howling at the moon, but I have to tell you from personal experience that prayers, or vibes from the universe, or encouragement through telepathy really can make a difference. We never really know how much until we truly need to know.
    So I encourage everyone to howl at the moon if your intent is to ease someone else’s pain.
    Thanks for both posts!
    btw… Elizabeth called you Chris… someone else calls you Duckie… I can’t find any real info on your blog as to who you are. Why? Mystery aside… I like to know who I’m reading, don’t you?
    b

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  9. Jillsy Girl says:

    Words can be very powerful, both positively and negatively, so in saying that, you just never know how much you can actually make an impact on the other party regardless of whether you’ve ever met them in person. Think of all the great philosophers and writers throughout time who have impacted peoples lives. Don’t underestimate words, they are sometimes as good or even better than a hug!

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  10. Lady E says:

    Dear Counting Duck, I actually thought you were making a valid point in your previous post. Writing a blog is a bit like howling at the moon when it is read by people who don’t know you, which does in no way devalue it, as it still serves a purpose. But what you wrote was a useful reminder that cyber-knowing someone is nothing like knowing them in real life, I have just rather painfully learnt that recently!
    Still, when all this is said, support from strangers at tough times is nice and does make a difference.
    So thank you for yours!

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  11. Pingback: Reasonings Part II « Diary of an Angry Fat Woman

  12. Beth says:

    Ducky…

    Sometimes all we want is a little acknowledgement for what we’re going through… good, bad, or ugly. I think that’s the essence of blogging. We’re looking for kinship.

    In my case, it’s knowing that others are going through the same struggles whilst trying to lose weight and then maintain that weight loss. Occasionally, there are detours to other subjects, but all I want is to know that Shonnie is plodding along in the same vein as me. Slow and steady.

    But somehow, knowing someone is reading your blog and can relate to what you’re saying brings a deep sense of satisfaction… so carry on with your notes of encouragement, agreement, puzzlement (I’ll expand on Vans shoes anytime 🙂 )… it does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. Even if some of us are running behind on our blog reading (by “us,” I really mean “me”).

    Beth

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