Yesterday my partner made a list of things she required when we went shopping. Nothing too fanciful: toothpaste, food, a new pair of pyjamas for me for some reason, bits and bobs for the house. You get the picture. So off we set in fairly hot weather to the shopping streets and arcades in our local town. Parking the car we walked through Marks and Spencer’s towards the shops but rapidly seems to run out of steam near the dress section. I was a bit surprised, there were no dresses on the list she had made, but waited patiently as she looked at some frocks. “What do you think of this” she asked holding up a black frock. “You already have a black frock” I said, trying to be helpful. She mumbled something and then we continued on our way. We purchased a couple of electrical items from the list and then she announced, “We have to go to TK Max”, another large store in the town.
Once there she discovered there was a whole new area set aside for dresses and the like and began examining certain items. “Go over and see if there are any pyjamas you want” she said. Off I went and soon found that there was nothing special enough to buy and returned to her side. She seemed a bit surprised but not entirely pleased to see me. I hovered round as she looked around the racks examining this and that, occasionally exclaiming over some item. I took an interest as I always do, commenting on colour or cut. Some people may have noticed that fashion and appearence are not my strongest characteristics but I am always willing to help if asked.
Gradually it dawned on me that my company was not adding to her experience. Indeed, in some way, I was getting in the way of her enjoyment. I was a surprised because we normally do everything together and that’s the way I expect it to be. The heart of the problem seemed to be that I was stopping her buying anything and thus having fun. I mention this now but I did’nt realise it at the time.
sometimes people on here have asked questions and I always want to answer them to the best of my ability. I only have one side of the story and a few of the facts, and normally that would prevent me offering an opinion. However I want to be supportive so sometimes I launch in anyway. Suddenly it has dawned on Mr Dim that people are not so much asking a question as voicing emotion or looking for support. An analytic examination of the situation is not called for. I never thought I would have to say this to myself but here it is. “Read between the lines before reacting”.