Wrong End of the Stick


Yesterday my partner made a list of things she required when we went shopping. Nothing too fanciful: toothpaste, food, a new pair of pyjamas for me for some reason, bits and bobs for the house. You get the picture. So off we set in fairly hot weather to the shopping streets and arcades in our local town. Parking the car we walked through Marks and Spencer’s towards the shops but rapidly seems to run out of steam near the dress section. I was a bit surprised, there were no dresses on the list she had made, but waited patiently as she looked at some frocks. “What do you think of this” she asked holding up a black frock. “You already have a black frock” I said, trying to be helpful. She mumbled something and then we continued on our way. We purchased a couple of electrical items from the list and then she announced, “We have to go to TK Max”, another large store in the town.

Once there she discovered there was a whole new area set aside for dresses and the like and began examining certain items. “Go over and see if there are any pyjamas you want” she said. Off I went and soon found that there was nothing special enough to buy and returned to her side. She seemed a bit surprised but not entirely pleased to see me. I hovered round as she looked around the racks examining this and that, occasionally exclaiming over some item. I took an interest as I always do, commenting on colour or cut. Some people may have noticed that fashion and appearence are not my strongest characteristics but I am always willing to help if asked.

Gradually it dawned on me that my company was not adding to her experience. Indeed, in some way, I was getting in the way of her enjoyment. I was a surprised because we normally do everything together and that’s the way I expect it to be. The heart of the problem seemed to be that I was stopping her buying anything and thus having fun. I mention this now but I did’nt realise it at the time.

sometimes people on here have asked questions and I always want to answer them to the best of my ability. I only have one side of the story and a few of the facts, and normally that would prevent me offering an opinion. However I want to be supportive so sometimes I launch in anyway. Suddenly it has dawned on Mr Dim that people are not so much asking a question as voicing emotion or looking for support. An analytic examination of the situation is not called for. I never thought I would have to say this to myself but here it is. “Read between the lines before reacting”.

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About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in Life, recreation, Relationships, shopping and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Wrong End of the Stick

  1. This made me smile, though in your defense if you are asked a question you answer honestly. I would have reacted in the same way as you…

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  2. Jeanna says:

    It’s true… when us girls are shopping… we want you to say, “that would look great on it, you should get it…” it gives us that little nudge that self indulgence is okay at this point… and sometimes we need that!

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  3. Jillsy Girl says:

    This little scenario could easily replaced with me and my hubby (and my favorite place to shop is TJ Maxx as well – as it’s called here in the States). We want our men to be as thrilled with the shopping experience as we are, but over yonder in the Men’s Section! ๐Ÿ™‚

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  4. Cyberian says:

    Yes, information is littered with emotions. Responding analyticallu can override what is really being ‘said’. This statement is actually a cry for help ๐Ÿ™‚

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  5. Caroline says:

    So – did she buy anything???!!!!!!

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  6. Shonnie says:

    Ducky my friend,

    I think your story is hilarious.

    I am sorry you feel like Mr. Dim, but all men are Mr. Dim’s. It is OK. Just keep asking those questions of YOURS, and answering as best you can–EXPECTING that you will get it wrong a bunch. ๐Ÿ™‚ If you understood us completely there would be no need for you — there has to be a little mystery for there to be discovery (which keeps the engery alive). By the time you get to the place where you totally get the other person, well, you are both happy for that part of the journey to be OVER. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    My hubby calls it dwelling together with knowledge. hehe. I think it is quite fun. Thanks for making me smile. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  7. Julie says:

    โ€œRead between the lines before reactingโ€. Must learn that one.

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  8. backonmyown says:

    I’m chuckling. Your analysis “after the fact” is right on. I bet you’ll use it for future shopping outings.

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  9. Miss Emm says:

    But sometimes we can’t help but to react. After the shock of reaction wears off then we start thinking. As far as us and dresses. We can NEVER have too many. It’s in our genes.

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  10. eof737 says:

    Don’t feel bad… If she really wanted a dress, she would have found a way to buy it without you being present. You were the voice of reason her unconscious invited. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  11. Jaclyn Rae says:

    Very, very insightful post… You’re a wise man. ๐Ÿ™‚

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