Being Mr Perfect


Each day she climbs from bed complaining of tiredness and looks at the wreckage   displayed before her in the mirror… Somehow she must move from this to that smart focused exterior she presents to the outside world in order to survive. Her manner is fragile and defiant at the same time. Preparing herself for work is a slow, exhausting process. Driving in her car or riding the train she looks at the others travelling to their desks. Is it the same for them? All of them saying as little as possible or nothing at all.

In another part of town her boss is doing the same: focusing on what lies ahead, ignoring that dull ache behind the eyes and the noise of children soon to leave for school. His face looks grey but that’s the way it is. He has anxieties he cannot display. A merger is discussed: that much he knows. Will his job remain if it goes through? Whatever happens he must get through the day.

Both at work they greet each other and smile. “Busy day for us” is all he says. “Dont I know it” she replies. “So much to do”. Feeling essential helps them both get them through.

Perhaps it’s the same for us all. That case of having to being better than we are. Not fooling ourselves but what else is there to do. Hearing of lives which cast us into shame. “Everything is spotless you know”. She does two jobs and still prepares a meal for her husband and three children every day. He is a skilled concert pianist, climbed Everest three times before he was thirty and cannot do enough for his poor wife who is sadly housebound with a perfume overdose.

Those questions we pose ourselves flit across my mind. “If we had five minutes left to live where would our mind go when only essences survive?” Harsh on ourselves, unless avoiding blame, we sometimes spend our tolerance on others berating ourselves for being weak again.

Somewhere inside, besieged by doubt and fear, a person lives who dares to dream and doesn’t count the cost. Who finds out as he struggles against his chains. That freedom starts with imagination, and without faith we’re lost.

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About Peter Wells aka Countingducks

Trying to remember what my future is
This entry was posted in community, faith, Life, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Being Mr Perfect

  1. redheadmouth says:

    Wonderful post! Did you write this all? I really like your last quote, “freedom starts with imagination, and without faith we’re lost.”

    Like

  2. Caroline says:

    “That freedom starts with imagination, and without faith we’re lost.”
    I believe in this completely.
    As my life coach’s website says “At what age did you become afraid to dream?”
    We can lose so much. But it’s all within our grasp – and always will be. All we need is imagination, faith and Courage!

    Like

  3. Shonnie says:

    Learning to mix the dreamer with the responsible person we are is a challenge. Something we have to take one little step at a time … keeping the balance. Really, dreaming and stepping out in our dreams do make living everyday life … liveable and balanced. Enjoyed the post man. 🙂

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  4. says:

    Lovely post. Makes me sort of meloncholy, sort of sad. I feel for the woman who works so hard. Her perfume lingers.

    Julie

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  5. Miss Emm says:

    Wow if I had 5 minutes left to live…….let me think about it. I assume I would thumb through the pages of life and revisit the memories that made me smile.

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  6. Made me think of the days I used to have to work. I am a migraine-sufferer. You captured my internal struggle and external bravado quite well. We all put on our faces and do what we must.

    Your post was beautifully written.

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  7. I didn’t expect that post! In answer to the question on those 5 minutes…

    – if alone I would write down on what is going on with me in my blog,
    – try to care for my sins – where I was not so nice or wrong to others and at least try to tell them what made me
    – or pack my stuff and fall over while running… just because I can – “just because I can” is good enough a reason to me to do about anything

    All I really know is that I would be focused.

    Yours
    Martin

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  8. You always post an amazing story for me to read that takes me to another world. I love it

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  9. Julie says:

    Speechless. What a knack you have, CD, of reaching into the soul.

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  10. eof737 says:

    Beautifully said… We all have our struggles and perfection is one we can stand to avoid… love this! 😉

    Like

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